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The Life of David Gale

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Constance Harraway: The TA just finished transcribing all the governor’s radio and TV comments. Listen to this gem: Journalist – “Governor, don’t you think three executions in one week is a little excessive?” Governor – “I say let’s bring them in, strap them down, and rock and roll.”
David Gale: Oh, it’s good to know our governor is in touch with his inner frat boy.
 
 
The Life of David Gale
 
David Gale to Bitsey Bloom: We spend our whole life trying to stop death. Eating, inventing, loving, praying, fighting, killing. But what do we really know about death? Just that nobody comes back. Then there comes a point – a moment – in life when your mind out lives its desires, its obsessions, when your habits survive your dreams, and when your losses… Maybe death is a gift. You wonder. All I can tell you is that by this time tomorrow I’ll be dead. I know when. I just cannot say why. You have 24 hours to find out.

How many innocent men and women end up being put to death in our justice system?  In a day and age of DNA testing and a multitude of forensic analysis methods…  it seems just about impossible that it could happen.

In The Life of David Gale, reporter Bitsey Bloom (Kate Winslet) is called in to interview a man, David Gale (Kevin Spacey), who is about to be executed for rape and murder of his friend Constance Harraway (Laura Linney) in Texas.  Gale spent his life working with an anti-death penalty group “Death Watch” until he was accused of raping a student and was asked to step back to prevent his sullied reputation from tainting that of the group.

As Gale tells Bitsey the story, she begins to question her own convictions about Gale’s guilt.  In fact, she begins to dig deeper trying to find proof of his innocence to prevent his untimely death.  Ultimately, The Life of David Gale shows us that there is a definite possibility that in the rush to find out who committed a crime, innocent people are being sent to prison, and especially to death row.

This film is nearly impossible to talk about without really spoiling things for the viewer.  So, I won’t delve into the movie itself too much, just pose some questions to think about as you watch:

How do you really feel about the death penalty?  It seems that most Catholics (and I might say even Christians) are pro-life when it comes to abortion, and for many even contraception.  However, when it comes to the death penalty, many are on the fence, feeling that the convicts deserve death – especially with the thoughts that it is cheaper to kill them than to let them serve life in prison.  So, take a minute and think about your true feelings about the death penalty.

Does the death penalty prevent prisoners the chance to find God and repent? 

Does killing a killer really prevent more death?

What does the Bible say?  There are many references to punishments of death for various crimes in the old testament, but Jesus’s teachings definitely take a softer approach to the old law.

What does the Catechism say?  CCC #2267 Assuming that the guilty party’s identity and responsibility have been fully determined, the traditional teaching of the Church does not exclude recourse to the death penalty, if this is the only possible way of effectively defending human lives against the unjust aggressor.
If, however, non-lethal means are sufficient to defend and protect people’s safety from the aggressor, authority will limit itself to such means, as these are more in keeping with the concrete conditions of the common good and more in conformity to the dignity of the human person.
Today, in fact, as a consequence of the possibilities which the state has for effectively preventing crime, by rendering one who has committed an offense incapable of doing harm – without definitely taking away from him the possibility of redeeming himself – the cases in which the execution of the offender is an absolute necessity “are very rare, if not practically nonexistent.” 

The filmmaker tried to stay neutral although he has definite anti-death penalty views.  Did this film seem neutral to you?

Did this film affect your views on the death penalty?

Does your state allow the death penalty?  How often is it carried out?  According to the filmmakers, California actually has more inmate on death row than Texas, but Texas kills more inmates per year.  Does that surprise you?

“An almost martyr doesn’t count”  In a debate with the Texas Governor, Gale is stumped when the Governor offers to abolish the death penalty if Gale can name one innocent person that was put to death.  And, every person whose execution is staid due to new evidence shows that the system can work.  So the quote arises, “An almost martyr doesn’t count.”  When Bitsey really starts to put things together and see that Gale may not really be who he’s been portrayed, she tells him that he should have contact her sooner, that she needs more time.  Gale replies, “You’re not here to save me.  You’re here to save my son’s memory of his father.”  Could you sacrifice yourself for your ideals?  Do you see Gale as a martyr for the cause?  What about Constance?

Ratings and wrap up:  The Life of David Gale is rated “R” for good reason.  Graphic nudity, sex and language get it there without any question.  The partying, Gale’s drinking problem, the idea that more lovers is a good thing and the dirty limericks don’t help.  It is not for the faint hearted.  It is not one I’d be likely to show in a group setting, but in my opinion, even though it is hard to watch, it will make it more understandable that it is possible for an innocent person to die for a crime they did not commit.

The Ramen Girl (updated)

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This is my very first post on Cinema Catechesis…  I’m reposting it with some updates it was a movie I’d never heard of, but was really cute…  In fact, I think I’ve watched it a couple of times since.  It is however, one that you can’t really watch while you’re doing other things due to the large number of subtitles.  So make sure you can be fully attentive if you decide to give it a try.

Abby: I don’t know anything about love. Every time I feel it, it’s gone, it disappears and all I have left is pain and sadness. 

220px-The_Ramen_Girl_posterSometime last week, my husband and I decided to try out an old Brittany Murphy flick The Ramen Girl. On the surface, it’s about a girl, Abby, who follows her boyfriend to Japan – who then leaves her there.

Hurt and confused, Abby stumbles into the Ramen shop across the street. The owners, Maezumi and his wife, think she is homeless or crazy so they feed her in the hopes that she’ll go away. But, somehow, the Ramen fills more than her belly, as she finds consolation in it. She goes back the next day, and the Ramen makes even the saddest patrons laugh. So she decides that she wants to learn the art of Ramen so that she can bring that joy to others.

When I first sat down to write this post, I had no idea that I could pull much out of it. It seems like a pretty straight-forward “fish out of water” type story. However, as I started writing, I was amazed at how deep it really could be. Imagine that the Ramen Shop owner, Maezumi, is Jesus and Abby becomes a disciple, so to speak. So, in looking at this film through the lens of Catechesis, what can we learn?

Disciple on a Journey: We are called to “pick up our cross and follow Jesus.” No one ever said it would be easy, or that at points we wouldn’t feel alone. So, while what got Abby to Japan might have been less than honorable, she passes up the easy road and it’s the challenges she faces that make her stronger in the process. You might even take the leap that the boyfriend was like a shady John the Baptist – and leads Abby to Jesus, although indirectly. So, Abby follows her boyfriend, but becomes a disciple on a journey that takes her much farther than the relationship with the boyfriend would have ever been. And I think we can all agree that the boyfriend isn’t fit to untie Maezumi’s sandals!

Sometimes we have to go back to move forward: When she sets her mind to learn Ramen, Maezumi gives Abby a LONG list of chores. From washing dishes to scrubbing toilets, cleaning tables and washing windows, she learns the value of work, although she isn’t quiet about her distaste for it. For Maezumi, it’s the basics. It’s those things that don’t seem to be related to the end goal, but are actually foundational building blocks. You can have the best food in the whole world, but if the surrounds are dingy, its unlikely people will give it the time of day. So maybe it’s those prayers or scripture passages we don’t want to memorize, maybe it’s basic teachings we don’t think we agree with, but they are all part of the big picture. They all are ingredients in our Ramen.

Sometimes we feel like God must not speak our language:  There is a huge language barrier between Abby and Maezumi. With the help of a dictionary and the occasional interpreter they muddle through, but it is hard, frustrating, and the series of exchanges, though heated, can be quite funny. There’s a lesson here though. You can take it at face value: a stranger in a strange land. However the thing that really pops to mind is that frustration and difficulty we sometimes feel talking to God. We find ourselves on one side spewing out what we think we need and what we expect from Him, all the while feeling that He doesn’t really understand us and often wondering if he’s even listening. Then on the other hand, how often is He trying to talk to us, but we’re too busy trying to get our point across to listen to Him? So check out those exchanges… how do they get resolved or do they?

Put a little of yourself into all you do!  We also learn that all the choice ingredients mean nothing if there’s there’s not a piece of ourselves in it. Maezumi can’t put his finger on what is missing from Abby’s ramen, so he takes her to his mother. Now, this is a deviation from our analogy of Maezumi as Jesus, because we don’t ever see Jesus asking Mary for advice, but he does entrust us to her. “Son, behold your mother. Mother behold your son.“ Yet even that is stretching it for this one, so rather than try to rationalize any further, we’ll get to the point of the exchange: We can talk the talk, but if our hearts aren’t in it, what are we doing it for? We must believe it and put ourselves out there. Because ultimately, aren’t we all looking for the Grand Master’s blessing?!

Reach out and reconcile:  Another point is you can make with this movie is the reconciliation Abby brings about for Maezumi. You see, Maezumi raised his son teaching the art of ramen. However, his son rejects it, despite his great gifts, to be an ITALIAN chef! Maezumi has such a difficult time with this decision. And, in a very un-Jesus-like fashion, Maezumi turns his back and holds in the hurt. In an effort not to ruin it, although it is a minor part of the movie, I’ll hold back the hows and whys here. But hopefully it inspires us to reach out a loving hand to someone we need to reconcile with.

Share your gifts!  **Spoiler Alert!!!** The last point for me is that once Abby has mastered the art of Ramen, she doesn’t stay in Japan. She moves back home, but takes this gift and shares it with others back home in New York. It appears that her place is booming and business is good. Therefore, our lesson is that called to share our gifts with the world, spread the good news of Jesus. I sort of wish I got to see more of how she continues on, but, that is left to our imagination.

Be forewarned, this film does have some scenes depicting alcohol use and Abby does have a brief romance including a bedroom scene. But, if memory serves, it does deserve the PG-13 rating, but isn’t embarrassing enough to worry about showing in a group setting assuming they’re all at least 13.

God Bless!

For more information on the movie, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0806165

The Green Mile

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Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That it was my job? My job?

The Green Mile Movie Poster from IMDB.com

The Green Mile Movie Poster from IMDB.com

John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin’ and worryin’, I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I’m tired, boss. Tired of bein’ on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we’s coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There’s too much of it. It’s like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, John. I think I can. 
 

The Green Mile is one of those movies that almost leaves its viewers with more questions than answers.  It’s been on my list of movies to write about for a while, and is the first request I’m finally getting to fulfill.

The film starts off with the main character, Paul, played by Tom Hanks, as an old man in a nursing facility.  He breaks down in tears watching an old Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie and a friend from the home tries to console him.  So, he tells her the story of the a year of his life as a prison guard on Death Row at Cold Mountain Penitentiary.  While death row is typically called “the last mile” they called theirs “the green mile” due to the floor color.

Two inmates already reside the mile.  And we’re never really told what they’ve done.  But things really get interesting with John Coffey (played by Michael Clarke Duncan) is brought in.  He is huge – and has been convicted of a horrible crime, raping and murdering two little girls.  They expect him to be hard to handle, but they find that he is quiet, gentle and quite opposite from what they imagined. They even learn he is afraid of the dark.

It isn’t long before another inmate, known as “Billy the Kid” is brought to the mile He is juvenile in his antics, but proves himself quite dangerous very early in his stay. He is a huge contrast to the sweet and quiet John Coffey. Add to all this, one guard, Percy, who is angry and bitter.  He beats on prisoners, believing them to be sub-human and looking for ways to control them.  When they actually need him to take action, he can’t.

Paul begins to doubt that John has committed the crime he’s been convicted of, but it isn’t until John heals Paul of a bladder infection, that Paul really starts doing some digging.  He doesn’t mention the healing to anyone but later events leave witnesses of other miracle healings. More and more they are convinced that John could not have committed the crime he is convicted of.  This film is full of talking points – and I’m sure it would take multiple posts to really go into all of them, but here’s a start:

All people deserve to be treated with dignity:  Most of the guards are very careful about how they talk to and handle the prisoners.  The do not condone physical or verbal abuse.  They say that staying calm and talking the prisoners prevents issues with already tense prisoners.  They are very careful to find distractions for the prisoners being executed while they practice the execution process.  Even to the end, they do everything they can to make the execution as clean, quick and calm as possible.  You know they don’t enjoy killing these men.  In contrast, we see Percy who is mean to the prisoners and treats them as scum.  He doesn’t care about them beyond how his poor treatment makes him feel superior.  But what this difference shows is how when treated with respect, most of the prisoners are peaceful and lovable.  When situations are tense do we tend to lash out, or do we try to keep things calm?  What about when you encounter someone that scares you?  I believe in most cases, you’ll find it that even though you may want to react like Percy, you’ll find the typical way of the guards gets much farther with much less uproar…  Granted, most of us don’t have padded rooms we can throw people in who disrespect us, but for the most part, they handled everything through calm and even a little humor, when appropriate.

Child-like nature:  One thing I’ve noticed each time I’ve watched The Green Mile is the child-like nature of the prisoners.  Is that because they are somehow emotionally or mentally stunted and their lack of maturity is what led to the crimes that landed them there.  I find myself wondering if you peel back the layers of our current prison inmates, that you’d find certain similarities.

At the same time, John’s gift of being able to heal, seems to be in a strange package. But, as we see in scripture, God always chooses someone that we wouldn’t expect. John is dirty, sweaty, uneducated – but gentle and truly caring.  Once you see John in action, you know there is no way he could have committed the heinous acts he is sentenced to death for.

The death penalty:  Well, if you are on the fence about the electric chair, this film will definitely show you how violent a death it really is – even without the disastrous one. None of the inmates deny what they’ve done and I’m sure their crimes were heinous, but seeing them as the men in the cell – relatively childlike and powerless, it was hard to see them killed.

St. Christopher reference:   When John Coffey first arrives at the prison, the prison wagon appears to be riding extremely low.  And John is a BIG guy, but as I watched the scene (and having seen it several times before) it struck me as an analogy to St. Christopher.  For those not familiar with the Christopher story, the basics are that Christopher was crossing a river and a child asked to be carried across.  The child was unbelievably heavy.  Later it was understood that in carrying the child, he was carrying Christ who was carrying the whole world.  So, when I saw that prison wagon carrying such a load, it made me wonder.  Then later, one of those healed gives John a St. Christopher medal, suggesting the St. Christopher would protect him. What do you make of it?  Is John supposed to represent Christ?

If he is meant to be a Christ figure, it certainly explains the healings and the profound sadness he shows about how people treat each other.  It also explains the low riding wagon.  Could it be that John Coffey was supposed to be such a big figure physically to show us how big Christ is figuratively.  Of course, if that was the case, I would have thought John Coffey would have bigger…  but  At first I wondered why John would choose to die… but then I realized Jesus did just that. I’m sure he could have gotten himself out of his situation, but he did it for us.  That is the big difference between Jesus and John Coffey…  Coffey was escaping.  Jesus suffered and died for us!

Sweet, gentle John Coffey also sets into motion events that I always thought exacted revenge, which disappointed me…  however, looking as him as a Christ figure, I’m guessing it could be called “judgment” or at least helping put them before God for His judgment.

In conclusion:  The Green Mile is rated R for violence, language and sexual references – and deservedly so.  It does however, provide a lot of food for thought.  Think about the difference in how the guard and the prisoners interact in comparison with how you look at the people you encounter in your life.  Think about how we are called to love, and that love is not a weakness, but evil does try to exploit it and we cannot let it win!  Think about the implications of the death penalty.  Think about what you would do if you were John Coffey or Paul Edgecomb.  If you can do that, I’m sure you’ll learn something!

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

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Shmuel: I wish you’d remembered the chocolate.
Bruno: Yes, I’m sorry. I know! Perhaps you can come and have supper with us sometime.
Shmuel: I can’t, can I? Because of this.
[points the electric fence]

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - image thanks to IMDB.com

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas – image thanks to IMDB.com

Bruno: But that’s to stop the animals getting out, isn’t it?
Shmuel: Animals? No, it’s to stop people getting out.
Bruno: Are you not allowed out? Why? What have you done?
Shmuel: I’m a Jew.
 
Bruno: There is such thing as a nice Jew, though, isn’t there?
Herr Liszt: I think, Bruno, if you ever found a nice Jew, you would be the best explorer in the world.

At more than one point in history groups of people have viewed other groups of people as less than human.  One could argue that this attitude still remains, whether it is looking down on immigrants who come to the country through less than legal means, those who starve in a distant country, those condemned to a life of slavery and those in the womb.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas beautifully shows how we aren’t born with these prejudices, they are taught.  Most of the time, these teachings aren’t as blatant as what is portrayed here.  But it is a slippery slope.

The film revolves around two boys, Bruno and Shmuel.  Bruno’s parents have recently moved close to the concentration camp that Bruno’s father is in charge of.  You can see that Bruno’s mother is disturbed by the move, but everyone (and she herself) tries to convince her that it’s all okay.  Shmuel obviously recently moved to the area as well, except as a prisoner.  

 The lessons here are incredibly obvious, but still worth talking about”

We are what we know: Bruno and his sister , Gretel are isolated.  Bruno desperately seeks children to play with and spots a “farm” from his bedroom window with lots of children.  As he questions the adults about the “farm” they either ignore his questions or just tell him it’s off-limits.  But, he finally gets a chance (without permission) to go exploring and finds the “farm” for himself and meets Shmuel.  In his schooling, he is taught about who awful the Jews are, and how they are responsible for all that is wrong in the world.  But his friendship with Shmuel keeps seeds of doubt planted.  Gretel, on the other hand, is immersed in the teaching and is soon seen lining her bedroom walls with Nazi propaganda.

Looking back, we wonder how anyone could have those sort of thoughts about other humans, but, that was what was being taught by a few angry people with influence, who passed that teaching on, and so on and so forth.  So, it was what people knew.  In teaching religious education classes students often commented on how they didn’t understand how their friends from other faiths could believe the things they did.  And, being in the “buckle of the bible belt” they were tired of answering the same questions about Catholic beliefs and traditions.  I often had to remind them that being raised in a Catholic home, the Catholic faith made sense and vice-versa for their non-Catholic friends.  At one point in time many people thought slavery made sense, and it still happens in many places we don’t want to talk or think about.  Ultimately, it needs to not be about what we are taught by society, but by our Catholic morality.  If we follow that, we will always recognize the dignity of human life.

We also have to take the time to learn about both sides of any story.  It is the only way to be able to make informed decisions, argue any point or just be a more empathetic people.  It may be that learning the whys and hows of the other side, may help us better understand and articulate something we were already pretty sure of!

If it had been just one man, I’m sure something would have been done.  Okay, so I had to sort of laugh at this one.  The kids are reading a book out loud about “the Jew” and how terrible “the Jew” is.  In this context, “the Jew” is referring to the entire Jewish race.  But when the kids’ tutor points out that “if it had been just one man, I’m sure something would have been done” I was thinking, that it was once one man, one Jew, and they did do something!  They crucified him!  But he still influences the world!

Not everyone believes the same thing, but may be afraid to speak out for fear or repercussions: Bruno’s Grandmother is definitely not happy about the agenda of the Nazi party, or her son’s part in it.  She even blames herself saying that the costumes she made him as a child must have made him want to don the uniform he wears so proudly.    But, he reminds her that airing her views so publicly could get her into a lot of trouble.  Even Bruno’s mother has an issue with what she sees happening, but she just tries not to see it.  So, we have to keep this in mind.  We can say “why didn’t someone do / say something” but we have to realize that not everyone is free to do so…  that’s why we have martyrs, but not everyone is willing to make that sacrifice.

All life is valuable and disrespect for it leads to trouble for all:  Where do you draw the line?  The Nazi’s first started with a small group, but as time went on, they continually opened their net wider and wider.  Many wars were aimed at soldiers fighting each other and deaths of women and children were incidental…  but as time has gone on and warfare had changed, there is not much of a distinction.  Why is it that we can recognize life in the womb if the mother wanted it, but so many can disregard it if the mother doesn’t want it, or if it’s in the first few weeks of gestation?

Interesting to note:  There is a definite cinematic element to this film showing a warmth when the family is in Berlin, compared with a cold, grey, modern house when they move to the country.  My guess would be that this was on purpose, showing the difference as you get closer to the coldness of the camp and the death that lies inside it.  What do you think?

More questions for consideration and reflection:

  • What people are at risk of this type of persecution today?
  • What can we do to prevent this sort of thing from happening again?
  • What is something you realize you need to learn more about?
  • What prejudices do we have that we need to work on ourselves?

Personally, I think we are diluting ourselves to think that this type of thinking is incapable today, so we should remind ourselves of the horrors periodically.  The movie is rated PG-13 for mature thematic elements about the Holocaust.  It probably wouldn’t interest younger viewers, but there really isn’t anything that would give a child nightmares or something like that.  The worst is when one of the jews is pouring wine for dinner and accidentally knocks over a glass and is drug out and beaten (away from camera view).  Ultimately, it is moving, beautiful and shows a beautiful friendship between two unlikely friends.

Movies to Start Pro-Life Discussions…

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As October barrels down on us, I am reminded that October is Pro-Life month.  My womb to tombmind has bounced all over trying to decide which pro-life movies to review, especially showing the “womb to tomb” aspect…  So, this post may be as much a chance to help me gather these thoughts, but also serve as an overview of several movies that I hope to be able to show in more detail later (and some that have already been done).  They may not all actually portray Pro-Life attitudes, but can still be used for discussion.  Remember in past posts where I’ve said that sometimes the lesson is doing the opposite of what is portrayed in the film.  This list is in no way comprehensive, but it’s a start.

Death penalty:

  • Dead Man Walking (R):  I’ll admit, I haven’t seen this one…  but It’s on my list to watch.  A man has committed unspeakable crimes, but as he sits on death row Sister Prejean works to have his execution stayed and befriends him.
  • The Life of David Gayle (R):  a consensual sexual encounter followed by suicide is staged as a rape and murder to prove that even with video and DNA evidence, an innocent person can be sentenced to the death penalty.

Euthanasia:

  • Million Dollar Baby (PG-13):  **CAUTION**  This one comes down on euthanasia as mercy killing.  When a young boxer who has fought her way into the ring, is injured so badly she is faced with life being bedridden and unable to even care for herself, she asks her manager to end her life.  The film wants the viewer to see euthanasia as good, but a case can definitely be made that considering her fighter spirit that had overcome so much, she gave up way too easily.  So, there’s a lot to discuss here.

Insurance reform / quality care for those in need:

  • John Q (PG-13):  Desperate for a heart transplant for his son and being blocked by red tape at every turn, a man takes the ER hostage until they agree to perform the surgery.  Then, when an organ isn’t available, he sets things in motion to serve as his son’s donor, though it will mean losing his life.  Again, this is a launchpad for discussion…  not something you’ll want to show without talking about it at length.

Dignity of Human Life:

  • Horton Hears a Who (G):  The line repeated over and over in this movie is “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”  Horton the elephant hears talking coming from a flower and is driven to protect it, even though every other animal in the jungle thinks that he has lost his mind.
  • The Incredibles (PG):  “Valuing life is not weakness…and disregarding it is not strength.”  This line from Mr. Incredible, who is accused of weakness because he won’t kill the bad guy’s assistant to get his way shows a profound respect for human life (as the good guys usually do).
  • Ice Age (PG):  Instead of abandoning an orphaned human child, A mammoth, a sloth and a tiger set out on a journey to take the child to someone who can care for him.
  • The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (PG-13):  The story of an unlikely friendship between two boys, one German, one Jew.  Set during the Holocaust, the German boy is being taught all about the inferiority of the Jewish race, but he comes to see that none of it is true.

Abortion:

  • Bella:  A woman set on abortion spends time with a former soccer player who is trying to make amends for a past incident.  He convinces her to choose life by agreeing to raise her child for her while giving her the opportunity to change her mind along the way.
  • Juno:  Juno heads into an abortion clinic, but the small bit of trivia about the baby having finger nails sends her running out.  So she finds adoptive parents in the Penny Saver and continues her high school schooling as a pregnant teen despite ridicule and frustration at her condition.  Juno is crass and full of herself, but is still genuinely concerned for the future of the baby.
  • October Baby:  An abortion survivor sets out on a journey to find her birth mother.  Along the way she finds out more about her birth, too.  She offers her mother the forgiveness she never allowed herself.  See the review I did on this one earlier here.
  • Cider House Rules:  **CAUTION** This one is really pro-abortion.  However, I think that the conversations and situations in the movie can be a good launchpad for discussion, especially in those extreme cases that are thrown out to support abortion agendas.  A boy raised in an orphanage is the assistant to a doctor who performs abortions for women who feel they have no choice.  The boy argues with the doctor about his actions, and maintains a pro-life stance until he encounters a girl who is pregnant by incest.
  • The Way:  It’s a small part of the story, but one of the pilgrims encountered on The Way of St. James admits to having an abortion to prevent her abusive husband from having another woman to beat on.  She goes on to talk about imagining what the child would be doing and the life she never had.  See the review I did on this one earlier here.
  • How to Deal:  A teenager discovers she’s pregnant after her boyfriend dies in a freak incident.  She chooses life, and endures the humiliation of being a pregnant teen with the support of the main character who makes it clear that she would not have made the same decision.  Again, this is a good one for the discussion, but cannot stand on it’s own as pro-life because so many push for abortion.

I know there is NO way this is all of the movies regarding life issues out there.  I mean think about all those military or action flicks where the heroes are trying to save humanity, even if it means a few human lives are lost…  or all those that struggle with a difficult diagnosis, and overcome it all to do more with their lives than they ever thought possible.  All are a part of the battle for life, and all boil down to love of neighbor.  If we all did a better job of that, would the rest even be an issue??

In my search for more ideas about films regarding life issues, I came across two sites listed below with lots of recommendations you might find helpful, especially if you check out the comments.

Hopefully I’ll be able to elaborate more on these as time goes on, but hopefully this will help for now.  Blessings!

Unstoppable

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Ned Oldham: Connie. Yeah, it’s Ned.Unstoppable
Connie: Did you throw that switch yet?
Ned Oldham: Yeah, six minutes ago. But your train, it’s not here. I thought it might be going a little slower than you guessed, but these two numb nuts that you sent, they just showed up and they ain’t seen it either.
Connie: Are you saying our train’s already passed?
Ned Oldham: Yes, ma’am. That’d be my guess.
Connie: It’s not a coaster. That train’s under power.
Ned Oldham: That’d be my guess, too.
 

In the movie, Unstoppable, Denzel Washington, Chris Pine and Rosario Dawson star in this action film where a chemical laden runaway train has to be stopped before potential disaster.  The film is “inspired by true events” and although is critiqued for its unrealistic details, is still a gripping and entertaining film if you’re willing to let those details go.

Denzel Washington plays engineer Frank Barnes on his way out (involuntarily) and Chris Pine plays Will Coleson who is just coming in as a conductor.  A failure to pay attention to detail and then a backhanded method of trying to fix it by the guys at the yard, as well as lack of full disclosure of the problem, sets things in motion and a minor issue starts a chain of events that leads to potential disaster.

Not for you:  How often in life do we do something that will benefit someone, but ultimately also benefit someone with whom you have issues?  

Oscar Galvin: I am not going to jeopardize any more property or personnel just because some engineer wants to play *hero*! Now you stop your pursuit or I will fire you!
Frank: [chuckles] Fire… You already did.
Oscar Galvin: Already did what?
Frank: You’ve already fired me. I received my 90 day notice in the mail… 72 days ago.  Forced early retirement. Half benefits.
Galvin: So, you’re going to risk your life for us with three weeks left.
Frank: Not for you. I’m not doing it for you.
 

I’m sure if you think about it, it happens more frequently that you realize.  I have always wanted to do a good job for my clients, my parish, my students, whatever the case may be, and sometimes that meant helping someone I didn’t want to help or making them look good.  IE: That boss or co-worker who always takes the credit.  I keep trying to keep Matthew 6:6’s statement on prayer and apply it to this need to tell people who’s really doing the work:

“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.”
 

Normally, those things irritate us to no end, but there’s usually not life at stake. Are you content to stand back and just do your job or do you need to be the hero? Why?  Frank and Will head in to something unbelievably dangerous because they feel like it’s the right thing to do.  They had every right not to do it; the potential of fired, one life had already been claimed (you’ll see), and everything seemed to be going against them, but they felt compelled to do it anyway.  We’re all focused on who we’re really working for – that’s good, very good!  We just have to keep reminding ourselves who we’re really doing our work for – and hopefully God is at the top of the list!

Cooperation is a REQUIREMENT!  One thing about this movie, whether it’s in the relationship background stories or the way they handle the runaway train, is how much cooperation is needed.  We see what happens when people work together… and what happens when they think they know it all and don’t need anyone. I always hated group work as a student, but professionally, I love a team atmosphere and team work.  When everyone gels, massive things get done – but if one person holds back, or insists on their way, it certainly makes things difficult! In what ways are you a team player?  In what ways are you not?  What can you do to help that?  We’re all called to share our gifts to build up the body of Christ!!!  If we all used our gifts as God calls us to, we can do AMAZING things to bring others to Him.  Let’s get moving!!

When you’re in an argument with someone, sometimes you have to imagine how you’d feel if they were in danger.  Would the argument matter? Will and his wife have had a bit of a “misunderstanding.”  This misunderstanding has led to a restraining order and Will sleeping on his brother’s couch.  But, we see that when Will’s wife realizes that Will is in definite danger, the misunderstanding melts away and we are led to understand they worked things out.  As much as I don’t want to sometimes, when the hubs and I argue, I try to keep this in mind before either of us leaves the house.  Would I really want angry words to be our last to each other?  I’m not saying bury the issues. Remember that deep down you love each other and keep that in mind even though you might not like each other very much at the moment.  Obviously, this can also apply to other relationships…  Parents and children, siblings, friends, etc. all have to remember this.  So, is there someone in your life that you need to reconcile with before they are taken from this earth and you lose your chance?

Do you “quit too easy?”  When Will tells the story of his marriage woes and his attempts to reconcile with his wife, Frank tells him that he (Will) quit too easily. Sound familiar?  Many people seem to forget that there is work to making a marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, some people seem to have to work harder than others, but there is a need to communicate feelings, finances and everything else. I have friends who laugh about the “marriage is work” statement because they never felt it was work, but I promise, whether it was conscious or not, they have to work on it.  They have four kids and another due any day.  The kids are in scouting, sports and all that.  They still talk to each other, have “date nights” and its more than just coordinating kids schedules. But, they’ve found a balance that works for them and they’ve got it down in such a way they don’t find it to be work.  Again, this concepts applies to more than just marriage.  It can be a job, relationship, a goal, whatever…  You may have a long-lasting marriage, but do you “quit too easy” about something else?

We’re all God’s children:  At one point, Frank and Will are discussing families and we hear that Frank’s daughters are Hooter’s waitresses (there are a few shots of them at the restaurant, too).  Will raises an eyebrow and asks how Frank feels about that.  Frank says he has gotten used to it, but you can tell he’s not happy about it.  As “men” they “love” Hooters, but as a father, not so much.  So, this can be a good opportunity to show how people react to how we present ourselves AND help us to remember that we are all children of God. Whether it’s a man checking out a scantily clad woman or the reverse, we have to remember that object we’re ogling is a child of God – and how would he feel about us objectifying one of His children that way?  This is a responsibility we all bear.  This is not just a “women cover yourselves” issue.  We all play a part.

Not a whole lot of places to go.  One thing about a train is how it cannot run without it’s track.  There’s no jumping off track and running cross country or even down a standard highway.  When it goes off the track, it’s usually pretty bad. That’s why when we say things like “we’re on track” or “we’re heading down the right track”, it indicates things are good.  When we get off track, it’s usually not good.  What things make up your track?  What helps keep you on track?  What knocks you on track?  What do you do to get back on track when you get derailed?

What high speed train is running through your life right now?  How are you handling it?  Cut it off from up front?  Trying to derail it?  Grab it from behind?  What has been your experience with it?

Triple seven – what does it mean?  777 has been considered to be the perfect number, which is why 666 is supposed to be the “mark of the beast” (three time falls short of 7) – so, do you think there might be some significance in that number being chosen as the runaway train and not 1206 which is the train that they use to try to stop 777.  Triple seven is obviously is extremely powerful – blowing through train cars as if they were tissue paper and flying down the track.  Do you think it was intentional – or just convenient?  Is it a way of saying that God is unstoppable and that whatever we think we can do to control the situation is nothing compared to His power?  What other meanings might it have?

It’s a wrap:  I have to admit, when I threw my copy of Unstoppable in the Blu-ray I wasn’t sure what I was going to be able to glean from it…  I just enjoy it and felt drawn to write on it.  This is not a kids movie by any stretch.  It is rated PG-13 with good reason, the language being the worst – and for the most part, the foul language is limited to the characters responsible for the runaway train, but it is a high-pressure situation, so the f-word flies around a bit.  The only thing sexual is watching Frank’s girls in their short shorts and skin tight clothes.  It is an intense film, but not violent or gory.  So it should be okay for adolescents – but as always, review it first.

Blessings!

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

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Image Borrowed from IMDB.com

Image Borrowed from IMDB.com

Michelle Rubin: Oh, you are never going to pull this off.

Andie: Watch me. Tonight, I’ll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I’m going to have this guy running for his life.
Jeannie Ashcroft: You’re not going to burn his apartment down or bite him, or anything?
Andie: No! I’m going to limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically, everything we know guys hate. I’ll be clingy, needy…
 
Ben: [to himself, on his balcony, waving goodbye to Andy before she gets in her cab] You’re already falling in love with me.
Andie: I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.
[blows away a kiss to Ben up on his balcony]
Andie: Poor guy.

I know most women are sitting there thinking – it’s easy to lose a guy in 10 days!  But, for Andie Anderson (played by Kate Hudson), she just can’t seem to shake this one.  Benjamin Barry (played by Matthew McConahey) is a player and has been challenged to stick it out with one girl AND get her to fall in love with him to prove that he knows how women like to be treated, thus earning him the big account at work – a diamond company.  Andie is a reporter and has been charged with writing an article, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, “doing all the silly things women do in relationships that messes things up – and do it so well, it will happen in 10 days or less.

A diamond is a long-term commitment:  In other words, no sex.  Despite pushing it a little, Andie and Ben fall for each other first.  It’s amazing how the antics Andie pulls in her effort to try to lose Ben get forgiven because he seems to know that the cool, fun (non-crazy) Andie is just around the corner (not to mention the bet).  In fact, on that first night, they go back to Ben’s apartment and Ben debates with himself about sleeping with her in terms of the diamond account, “A diamond is no one night stand.  A Diamond is a long-term commitment” They also have a little talk about not moving too fast because of the need for respect.  Now they do have sex in the movie (the camera does cut away without showing much)… but I still hold that they were in love first, whether they’d admit it or not.  If I had written the movie, we certainly wouldn’t have seen sex within the first ten days of dating (and preferably not until after getting hitched), but – I guess that’s why Hollywood doesn’t pay me to write.  😉

Clingy and needy are not attractive:  So, the first evils Andie perpetrates to get Ben to dump her are being clingy and needy.  She calls him at work, repeatedly. She calls his Mom without him and manages to help herself to a key to his apartment, etc, etc.   These things obviously disturb Ben – but he’s trying to prove he can keep up with the crazy, so he plays along.  But, had the bet not been in place, you can be sure Andie would have been a goner.

I think this is a good way to introduce the idea to youth that restrictions on communication and other forms of contact are healthy, especially in those beginning stages of the relationship.  Sort of an “absence makes the heart grow fonder” sort of approach.  These restrictions prevent the appearance of being needy or clingy and also help promote the idea that healthy relationships are built slowly.  Honestly, there are a lot of adults who could use a dose of it, too!

Date those you can see spending the rest of your life with, but don’t plan the wedding just yet:  While I agree that you shouldn’t date someone you don’t think has the potential to be the one you spend the rest of your life with, I definitely think that planning your life together within the first ten days is just a little unreal. For some reason though, it seems that with boys and girls, they seem to jump to this.  If I understand everything right, I have a relative who dumped at least three boys for professing undying love and talking marriage within the first two to three dates. I admire the commitment, however, that sort of undying love so early seems a little desperate.  Of course, I also realize that boys say a lot of things to try to get girls in the sack, so I also take the “undying love” with a grain of salt.  So when Andie whips out the Family Album filled with photos merging photos of Andie & Ben to show what their kids would look like, Ben is right to be wierded out!

Using people is a no-no:  We’ve talked about it in other posts, but this movie is centered around two individuals who are using each other.  Andie using Ben for her story, and Ben using Andie to win a bet (and land an account).  It’s an endless cycle and in this movie, it makes for great entertainment.  However, we also see how much it hurts them.  They do overcome it, but it is definitely painful for both.

Frost yourself:  In the movie, the idea is that it will be easier to sell more diamonds if women don’t feel they must have them given to them by men.  Now, I’ll admit, I’m not a big jewelry person, and I did not want to go help pick out my engagement ring.  But, I’ve seen so many women who seem to feel that the size of the ring equates with the size of the love and that being showered with jewels and gifts is critical.  I’ve known plenty who got the big rock, and were divorced in no time, and those who couldn’t afford rings, but stayed together for a lifetime.  Now I am not saying that if you get a big rock, the marriage is doomed for failure.  But it’s not about the rock.  The love, commitment, and willingness to work together is what makes a great marriage.

I would also like to use this point to say that you do have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can truly be comfortable with someone else.  That may mean that any diamonds you sport, may have to be self-purchased. 

Don’t be afraid to call “bullshit:”  So, there’s an ongoing game Bullshit in the Barry household.  And, when Ben and Andie first arrive you hear the word thrown around quite frequently.  But all that aside.  Sometimes those same skills used in Bullshit and poker should be employed in daily life.  It’s hard, sometimes, when you really want to make someone happy to forget yourself, bury your interests and all that, but can you keep that up long-term?  You can call Bullshit on yourself, and should.  We also need to recognize that in others.  We need to encourage others to be themselves – the best version of themselves, but themselves none-the-less.

Okay, so to wrap up, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is rated PG-13 for good reason. There’s enough innuendo, language, close calls with sex and a sensual scene, but if watching this with a teenage girl, there’s some great lessons to be learned if you’ll talk with them about it afterward.  You can even talk about how Ben continues to treat Andie, even when she was being crazy Andie.  For the most part, he is patient and caring…  even if it is for a bet.

Blessings!

We Bought A Zoo

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We Bought A Zoo

image borrowed from IMDB.com

Duncan Mee: I like the animals. I love the humans.

Benjamin Mee: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

We Bought A Zoo is a great family flick.  Benjamin Mee, played by Matt Damon is a recent widower trying to raise his two kids on his own.  He decides a change is in order due to a series of events: His son Dylan, whether due to his mom’s death or just teenage melancholy, has a very dark style and has exceeded the three strike policy at his school;  Add that to feeling like a piece of meat thanks to all the single moms at his kids’ school;  Then throw in quitting his job because he’s been given the impression that the only reason he still has it is due to sympathy for his wife’s death.  So, after a horrible day house hunting, they find the perfect house, however, they find it’s part of a defunct zoo.  How hard can it really be???

So with all its heartwarming charm, cast of crazy characters and a few temperamental animals, what lessons can we glean from We Bought A Zoo.

Don’t use people’s sympathies against them:  Dylan is going through a rough time.  No one would doubt that for a minute.  However, he uses it, and plays on it.  He wallows in it, expects everyone else to navigate the minefield he has thrown down.  He even says that no one would expel a kid who just lost their mom.  Now, I’m not saying that Dylan doesn’t have good cause to grieve.  And everyone handles grief differently, but the expectation that everyone will cut him slack indefinitely is a little hard to defend.  And, as Dylan finds out, over time, patience wanes and he won’t always have his grief as a “get out of jail free card.”  So what do you do?

You just need twenty seconds of insane courage:  This is one of the main lines you hear in the trailer, as well as a few times through the movie.  But, its true, isn’t it?  Twenty seconds are actually a long time  – especially when the blood is pumping and that “fight or flight” response kicks in.  In the case of the Mees, they are referring to matters of the heart.  But, that twenty seconds can also be used to speak up in the face of injustice, leap into action in an emergency, volunteer your gifts, etc.  Now, that twenty seconds doesn’t include the thinking time, so don’t use it as an excuse to do something you really shouldn’t.  But when push comes to shove, it only takes twenty seconds to say “yes,” to act in whatever way you’re being called to.  Then, if you take twenty seconds, it might give someone else twenty seconds and so on.  Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone, is the small push that others need, too.

Think about this too in the case of evangelization and missionary work.  I was recently talking to one of my former students who has signed up to be a college missionary.  In their training, they were dropped on a beach and told to go spread the Gospel.  Going to talk to complete strangers is hard enough and then you throw in trying to talk to them about God and His good news!  Admit it – would you do it?

I like the animals.  I love the humans:  When I think about this one, the old bumper sticker “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog” springs to mind…and you expect the zoo staff to have that same philosophy.  The Zoo is full of lots of exotics – both animals and people.  They all make for some pretty interesting events. But, with the exception of the aged lion, the animals are really just a backdrop.  It’s the interaction between the human species that really makes things work.  The support they give each other in spite of their vast differences and idiosyncrasies is really amazing, and they are all pushed by a common goal.  They have a camaraderie that makes them more like a family. They genuinely love each other.  They spend off time together, the whole bit.  A couple of times we see the question posed, “If you had to choose animals or people, which would you choose?” And, despite the love and care shown to the animals, the people win.  So, what do you think you’d choose? 

Next, I’ve noticed that there seems to be a lot of people who show more care and concern for animals than they do for humans.  Ironically, most animal rights people I know are avidly pro-choice.  So, an animal gets better treatment than a human?  How does that work? Now, don’t get me wrong…  I’m pro-life and love animals.  I’ve always had at least one dog, several horses, and have even been around quite a few cows, pigs and chickens and definitely don’t like to see them scared, or in pain.  Loosing our “first-born” chocolate lab mix a few months ago has been really hard, but my love for a being that’s not even the same species helps me know that the power of love is much stronger than we give it credit for.  But, the horrors of what happens during an abortion takes precedent.  There are so many people paying huge amounts of money for babies – and yet so many women feel like they have no other option.  Sadly, I think more than anything, those women are afraid that if they carry a baby to term, they’ll develop that love and they are trying to spare themselves the potential hurt of giving up someone they love or upsetting their current way of life.

When you do something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you:  So, more than once Benjamin is accused of being out of his mind for buying and thinking he could handle running the zoo.  But, its out of love for his children that he is driven to make it work.  He wants them to have the adventure.  He probably (although it’s not stated) is hoping to give them something else to focus on than their grief.  And since they have moved to an area that is relatively distant from the conveniences of town, it might even be something for the kids to do.  But ultimately it’s love – the pure, unconditional love of a father for his children. 

Tree in the road:  (Spoiler alert!!)  So, at the end, they are all ready to open, the rain has lifted, but no one is coming…  their worst fear.  But its Dylan’s faith that says that there’s something wrong.  A tree has fallen blocking the drive to the park, so no one can get to the entrance.  So, you’ve got the right reasons, you’ve accomplished the impossible, but what trees are still in your road?  Do you accept them as a roadblock, or to you charge out to get over?

So, We Bought A Zoo is rated PG, features the talents of Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, and Thomas Hayden Church among many others and with the exception is of the zoo inspector being called or referred to as d— and a little bit of kissing is very clean and a lot of fun.  Benjamin’s assertion that “he had the real thing” when his brother tries to encourage him to get permiscuous is encouraging and is a good example of what love really is.  It might be a little deep for really young viewers, but for those old enough, it is one full of lessons that I’d like my kids to know.

Want to see more about We Bought A Zoo?  Check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1389137/

Pride & Prejudice

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Pride & Prejudice image borrowed from IMDB.com

Pride & Prejudice image borrowed from IMDB.com

Elizabeth Bennet: So which of the painted peacocks is our Mr. Bingley?
Charlotte Lucas: Well he’s on the right and on the left is his sister.
Elizabeth Bennet: And the person with the quizzical brow?
Charlotte Lucas:That is his good friend, Mr. Darcy.
Elizabeth Bennet: The miserable poor soul!
Charlotte Lucas: Miserable, he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.
Elizabeth Bennet: Tell me.
Charlotte Lucas: Ten thousand a year and he owns half of Derbyshire.
Elizabeth Bennet: The miserable half? 
 

Pride & Prejudice originally was a book written by Jane Austen. It has been adapted for just about every possible performance type and made more than once for the silver screen.  I’ll admit that I’ve never read the book…  but I do hope to.  With so many versions out there, I’m going to limit myself, for the purposes of this entry to the 2005 version where Keira Knightly portrays Elizabeth (aka Lizzie) Bennet.

A quick synopsis for those who don’t know the story:  Pride & Prejudice is the story of the Bennett family and all the drama that surrounds the need for the five daughters to marry well since being female prohibits them from inheriting the estate on which they live.  The eldest daughter, Jane, is quite known for her beauty   and Elizabeth is pretty, but not considered nearly as beautiful as Jane.  The middle daughter is very quiet and homely but plays the piano quite well.  The other two girls, Lydia & Kitty, are quite silly and get quite a reputation as such.  The majority of the film centers around Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.  Mr. Darcy is very shy, not easy to talk to, and seems like he has a cloud of negativity surrounding him.  He and Elizabeth seem like polar opposites although despite the appearance of being upbeat, Elizabeth seems very negative when it comes to matters of the heart.  So, through a series of overheard conversations, assumptions, misunderstandings and confessions the viewer is drawn in to one of the great love stories of all time.

So what can we gain from what most people see as just a beautiful love story?

Not everyone wears their emotions on their sleeve.  One thing that’s obvious from Pride & Prejudice, as in life, is that not everyone shows their emotions the same way.  An attempt not to seem to eager can come off as indifferent or hateful.  Just because someone does not react the way you think they should, doesn’t make it wrong.  In many cases, there is much more to the story. Surely you’ve seen this in how people handle issues of the day.  Some of the sweetest, most thoughtful people I know are perceived to be “cold fish” when they first meet someone…  and we could go all day on how different people handle grief.  So we do have to be conscious of these differences in our everyday lives, especially when we do not know others particularly well, if at all.

There’s always another side to the story. Maybe it’s naïve, maybe it already happens, but I think that when people are running for a major office, they should, once they’ve gotten pretty close to the end of the campaign, be taken into a room and brought up to speed on all the important stuff going on from the inside track.  I truly believe this is the reason for at least 50% of the broken campaign promises.  Once they really see the full picture, it’s not as simple as it looked on the campaign trail.  We see something similar in Pride & Prejudice.  Mr. Wickham tells a story of how he and Mr. Darcy are acquainted and Elizabeth takes it as gospel because of how little she thinks of Mr. Darcy.   Also, Elizabeth doesn’t discuss the various exchanges she has with Mr. Darcy after their first terse encounters.  So when she has a change of heart about Mr. Darcy, everyone believes the worst of him and can’t understand why she has made such a complete turn around.  There’s always more to the story.  The trick is realizing it and seeking the truth.  Do you notice it in your workplace, or with your family?  When both sides come out, things usually make much more sense.  Think about this in terms of Church history.  When you hear that “Catholics used to chain up the bibles” it’s usually to make Catholics feel like the Church was withholding the Bible from the people.  But, when you consider that this accusation was pre-printing press and that bibles were hand copied and there weren’t really that many copies – and they definitely weren’t cheap, it makes much more sense.  Look at how we interpret Sacred Scripture.  There are so many stories where one small historical or cultural detail brings worlds of clarity.  Make sure you seek the big picture.

Assumptions get you into trouble.  I won’t repeat the old saying, but in some ways its killing me not to.  Nearly every character in Pride & Prejudice makes assumptions.  Either assuming to know another characters feelings, assuming the accuracy of a story that may be some form of half truth or that they can predict the actions of others.  Assumptions lead to lots of problems.  Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t look ahead, or try to read between the lines, but don’t take it for certain until the proof is there.  These characters assume that they’ve got all the information, when in reality missing pieces make a huge difference.  Think about some times in your life where you made assumptions or had assumptions made about you?  How did they make you feel?

We wouldn’t tease you if we didn’t love you.  Elizabeth is constantly teasing, even when propriety would suggest she should not do so.  We see that her Father has a similar sense of humor. Obviously, not everyone finds this sort of behavior acceptable, especially Lady Catherine, but for Elizabeth, that’s just the way she is.  I have to admit, this is probably the trait I most admire in Elizabeth, but then, I come from a family whose motto is “We wouldn’t tease you if we didn’t love you.”  But, it is something we need to be aware of, both in others and ourselves.  One senior gentleman I deal with regularly teases so close to my insecurities, it took me a long time to realize that he really was kidding.  But after watching him with others, and having a few more exchanges with him myself, I realized that he really was teasing me, that he didn’t mean things the way I was taking them and that he didn’t waste time with those he didn’t care for.  I almost missed getting to know a great guy.  What teasing have you gotten lately?  Was it helpful and relaxed or hurtful?

What is “pride”?  So, we’ve hit on many of the prejudice parts of the movie, but how about pride?  There is a lot of “pride” going around.  Pride in status and breeding, pride in accomplishment, family pride, and pride in self.  We need a certain amount of pride in our lives and not all pride is bad.  But we see the negative side of pride in this flick.  So many of the characters are so full of pride, they don’t seem to see their faults and are very quick to point out the shortcomings of others.  What ways do you think that pride is helpful?  In what ways is it hurtful?

Pride & Prejudice is classic, beautiful and romantic.  It’s got a PG rating and is very clean, apart from a little light kissing at the end.  However, I have a feeling that only artsy teens and adults will enjoy this film.  And hey, if it inspires anyone to read any of Austen’s work, isn’t that a good thing?!

The Descendants

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Image Courtesty IMDB.com

Image courtesy IMDB.com

The Descendants begins with the revelation that Matt King’s wife, Elizabeth, has been in a boating accident and is in a coma in the hospital.  There’s also a big land sale that has to take place in Matt’s family and Matt is trying to balance both, plus the needs of his two daughters who are definitely having issues.

We then learn that Elizabeth will not come out of the coma and her Living Will declares that they must pull the plug.  After picking up his oldest daughter, Alex, from boarding school, he tells her the news.  Her angry reaction catches him off guard and she reveals that she’d discovered that Elizabeth was having an affair.

So, with all that loveliness, what can we learn from the Descendants?

“Give your children enough money to do something, but not enough to do nothing.”  Matt’s philosophy is sound, but it does seem to have blown up in his face somewhat.  Everyone accusing him of being stingy, but his kids attended very expensive schools, they had a pool and a very nice house, what do they really need beyond that?  But really, shouldn’t that be the philosophy of most parents?  So many parents seem to feel like they have to make sure their kids have more than they had – and in today’s society, that’s a lot of stuff.  Anymore, one device is so many things that you can’t even give in just a little. So I pose this question to parents – how do you give your children enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing?  Do you make deals with your kids?  Do you give, but put lots of limits on the gifts?  Do you give so that you have something to take away (this one was the strategy my parents usually employed)?  Thoughts, please!

“Like an archipelago… all part of the same whole, but still separate and alone, and always drifting slowly apart.” In some ways, this probably describes any group of people.  We can think of it as our families, which is want Matt is referring to, but it can also refer to our Church family, friends, support groups, etc. We start off as a unit, but slowly, over time conflicting interests and schedules take over and individuals sometimes drift apart.  However, unlike an archipelago, we can change that – or at least try to.  We can take the initiative to get back in contact with those who’ve fallen away from our group.  We can only do so much as the others have to do their part as well.  But, we have to take action and not just sit there as our own private island!

“Watch your language” In The Descendants, language is a big issue.  There is a lot of cussing, foul and hateful speech, and a real emphasis on last words spoken.  So yeah, if you’ve got sensitive ears, the language will be quite repulsive.  However, it makes a point for us here.  The first time language is referenced the younger daughter unleashes a hateful sentence toward her sister.  When her Father asks her who taught her to talk like that, she points to her older sister.  We do have to be careful who we are setting examples for!  Most of what’s spoken is spoken in anger and frustration.  Not that it excuses it.  Some might say it’s the teens wanting to prove their adulthood.  I have to say that I’m proud of Matt for calling them out on it.  Matt has also been very careful to make sure that last words are spoken carefully.  When the older daughter unleashes a string of “I’m sorry we weren’t enough” statements toward her comatose mother, Matt makes her stop even though he knows about the affair and probably would like to tear into her himself. Not only is he teaching them to watch themselves, he’s leading them by example. Are you conscious of your last words?  You never know which ones they might be with anyone.  Make them count!

Advanced Life Directives:  This is a touchy subject.  I’m going to tell you that you should have something in place.  But maybe a Living Will isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  It’s too hard to plan for every situation.  There are too many nuances in healthcare, to many degrees of severity and too many types of complicating factors.  Therefore, Living Wills are difficult for those of us who want to try to follow God’s will and not “give up” prematurely, but also don’t wish to be a burden on our families.  A better way to do it would be to name a health care proxy who knows your ultimate wishes, but in the event that you are incapacitated, can help interpret your wishes to the medical professionals treating you.  It may not be in your best interest for this to be a family member, but then again, it might.  It just depends. You just have to try to figure out who can make the hard calls when they’re needed.

When may medical therapies, procedures, equipment and the like be withheld or withdrawn from a patient.  From EWTN.com
A. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states,
2278. Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of “over-zealous” treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.
The key principle in this statement is that one does not will to cause death. When a person has an underlying terminal disease, or their heart, or some other organ, cannot work without mechanical assistance, or a therapy being proposed is dangerous, or has little chance of success, then not using that machine or that therapy results in the person dying from the disease or organ failure they already have. The omission allows nature to takes its course. It does not directly kill the person, even though it may contribute to the person dying earlier than if aggressive treatment had been done.
You can read more about the Catholic Church’s stance on End of Life issues here.

Forgiveness:  Toward the end, the wife of the man Elizabeth had the affair with comes to visit her.  She says she forgives her.  Now, we never know who started it, how long it had been going on, or what was said between Elizabeth and her affair partner.  So, some of what she said, probably was uncalled for.  But, she felt like she had to forgive her.  And in doing so, gave Elizabeth a gift bigger than the flowers she came with.  Can we all be that forgiving when faced with such betrayal?

So, all that said.  The Descendants is overall a good movie.  It’s NOT a sit down with the kids movie, and is rated “R” for a reason.  The language is part. The affair and all that are not depicted.  But there are references to porn and masturbation that round out the rationale for the rating.  Hopefully this post will have you consider two things:  First, being careful with your speech as any words might be the last you have to those you love and second, consider some sort of arrangements should you become incapacitated and pray that you never have to use it!

Blessings!