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The Way

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Image borrowed from IMDB.com

Image borrowed from IMDB.com

For a while now I’ve wanted to talk about this movie, but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.  Don’t ask why…I don’t know.

The Way refers to a trek known as el Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James).  The 800 kilometer Way of St. James really exists, running from St. Jean Pied de Port, France to Santiago de Compostella.  In the movie The Way, Tom, played by Martin Sheen, is called to France to claim the body of his son, Daniel, who started the Way, but was killed in a sudden storm in the mountains.

It isn’t long when Tom decides to trek the Way that Daniel began.  Tom is angry and not a man of prayer, so setting out on a pilgrimage is a little odd, but armed with a box of Daniel’s ashes, he heads out.  He leaves small piles of ash at various points on the journey.  His intention may be to do the Way for his son, but Tom learns a lot about himself along the way.

Despite his constant requests for privacy and keeping to himself as much as possible, Tom is joined along the way by four individuals all as different as night and day.  Every time I see The Way I notice something different, so I’m sure if I review this post next year, I’ll have some completely different insights, but I finally feel like I have seen it enough times to do it some justice, so here we go.

You don’t choose a life, you live one:  Daniel travels and feels that he must see and experience all that life has to offer.  He and Tom disagree about the direction their lives are going.  Tom says, “It is the life I chose.”  Daniel responds with “You don’t choose a life, you live one.” 

How often do we find ourselves wrapped up in the daily grind, forgetting why we’re doing it in the first place?  I would suggest to you, that there is a happy medium.  You don’t have to travel the world to live life – Lord know that many do it, but it’s all work, or they feel like they have to check things off a list, but don’t bother to take in the true beauty of it all.  We’ve got to take in the true beauty of everyday life.  Make opportunities for memories but don’t forget to get lost in them from time to time.

When I was young, I was too busy.  Now that I am old, I am too tired:  This line hit me pretty hard.  I’m always begging people to let me get through the next big event before I have to worry about the issue looming.  Unfortunately, there’s always another big event and there’s always more issues.  But, deadlines have been a way to prioritize – and for a procrastinator, that’s been my method of operation for years.  I am trying to get better, but I still find myself longing for retirement, where I can do what I want, not having to worry about work deadlines and can move around more freely.  However, I have to remind myself that I run the risk of being “too tired” if I push everything off.  So, I encourage everyone to remember this phrase and live for today.  Maybe we can all hold each other accountable.  😉

Which guidebook are you using?  There is this competition between Tom and Joost over the “American Guidebook” or the “Dutch Guidebook.”  One is supposedly full of shortcuts and paths to the nearest party.  The other is supposed to be the preferred and most clear routes.  Neither is perfect and neither is the point of what I’m asking.  Think more globally – what guidebook(s) are you using for your life?    The Bible, the Catechism, the story or writings of your favorite saint, the latest self-help title, the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran?  The book is less of a concern, but how you live your life that matters.  Do you find yourself just going from party to party with no substance, or are you all substance with no party?  There is a happy medium between the two…  and that is the balance we’ve got to find before it’s too late.

Sometimes a dog fight near a cheese farm is just a dog fight near a cheese farm:  This is going to sound contradictory to 95% of what I say on this blog – but haven’t you known people who are so busy looking for meaning in everything that they miss what’s really going on. Our daily examination should help us find insight into what was important, and learn to downplay the things that really don’t mean anything.  We also have to realize that the meaning may not be obvious until some time later.

Why would you do The Way? They say you can’t do the Way for someone else, it is only for yourself.  What would make you take on a nearly 500 mile journey?  At 3 miles an hour, walking 12 hours a day – it would take two weeks. Would it be a prayer pilgrimage – saying continual rosaries, chanting novenas and such?  Would it be for health?  Would it be to clear you mind with hopes to hear the voice of God?  Would it be to meet people? 

Trekking the Way one of those things I’m putting on my bucket list, but I think God still has to tell me why.  It seems that way to many times I’ve been led into something for one reason, but it really works for others.  So, I don’t think it matters what I would think my reason for the trek would be, God will help me find what he wants me to find along the Way.The Way - Seashell

Make your own Way:  It’s obviously not in everyone’s life plan or abilities to make the pilgrimage of St. James.  However, you can make your own Way.  Pick small pilgrimages close to home.  Make mini pilgrimages in the back yard.  Join up with a group that you might not join and meet new people.  It’s all part of the Way.

For more information about the movie The Way, check out:  http://www.theway-themovie.com/

For more information about The Way of St. James, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_St._James

Buen Camino!!!

October Baby

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Image borrowed from IMDB.com

Image borrowed from IMDB.com

Psalm 139:13You formed my inmost being;you knit me in my mother’s womb.

I wasn’t going to do this one so soon – since it’s sooooo obvious what this one means, but it’s light of the Kermit Gosnell trial it seems like it is necessary.  In a way, the feelings Hannah displays are contrary to what we want to display.  But I think when you reflect on the film, you’ll see it might have been resolved if she’d been told her story from the beginning.

Our main character, Hannah collapses on stage.  In an attempt to determine what caused it, many tests are run – which point to one cause of her issues – her birth.  She was adopted after a failed abortion attempt.  She then sets out on a journey with her friend and what they learn along the way helps her realize what life is really all about.

Have you ever felt unwanted?  Hannah writes in her journal (which comes to light after this episode) that she feels “unwanted.”  She was not told she was adopted until that moment, and certainly was never told that she was the product of a failed abortion or that she had a twin.  There’s a couple of thoughts I have here…  first, that even at such a young age, she may have felt the impact of what her biological mother tried to do.  She may not have been conscious of it, but somehow she knew.  Could this have been curtailed if her adoptive parents had been honest with her?  Could that knowledge of being chosen, being wanted, help her get past what her biological mother did?  There are also many people who never endured the tragedies Hannah survived, but still feel unwanted.  Is there any way to help these lost souls?

What other ways do we feel unwanted?  Obviously, there are many.  When your teenage child says that he or she hates you, when you’re turned down by someone you have feelings for, or when you’re excluded from a gathering.  How do you deal with those feelings of being unwanted?  What insights can you offer to someone dealing with feelings of being unwanted?

“To be human is to be beautifully flawed”  Wow…  that it the nicest way of saying that we all mess up I think I’ve ever heard.  Its true, as are the statements that follow it in the movie.  We are “beautifully flawed.”  A few years ago, I was at a family reunion.  A couple of my teenage distant cousins were there obviously showing that they were expecting.  I happened to be talking to some other relatives who commented about how those girls could let that happen, and how it was going to wreck their lives.  My comment to them, was that if they’d aborted their babies, no one would have known about their little buns – but that by owning up and continuing – they were stronger and more courageous than they were being given credit for.  And now, they have beautiful babies – the families have pitched in to help.  Beauty has come out of a difficult – maybe even ugly situation.  Sometimes really wonderful things come out of those flaws… 

“When you hear something enough times, you start to believe it”  In this case it’s referring to the “tissue” that the doctor kept telling the nurse that babies being aborted were.  I wonder if many pro-choicers would really still be pro-choice if they actually saw the product of the abortions.  When I look at today’s ultrasounds, where you really see a three-dimensional image of the baby – I wonder if people will start realizing it now. I wonder why someone would kill a baby that is born alive, despite the attempt to kill it, when babies are in such demand amongst those looking to adopt.  I know there are abortion survivors out there.  They aren’t “just tissue” any more than the rest of us are.

This same concept can be applied to our news sources and what we surround ourselves with.  When all we see is trash, or surround ourselves with is trash, that is all we will believe.  We have got to surround ourselves with good – and look for good in others.  Remember the old adage, “I think, therefore I am.”  We’ve got to think positive, and be aware of what’s going on around us.

Another point to be made here is about how we treat each other.  “When you hear something enough times, you start to believe it.”  If people area always telling you that you’re no good, you start to believe it after a while.  Thus seems to be the point of trying to build a child’s self-esteem by telling them “you can do it” or otherwise reinforcing their talents and skills.  We’ve got to build people up, not tear them down.  We do, however, have to be careful.  “Building up” does not mean spoil the child.  I’m afraid too many mistake the two concepts.

“Only in forgiveness can we be free.”  Matthew 16:19 tells us, “I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”  That makes it sound as thought we have power over others – which in some ways we do, but it’s that last part we should concentrate on.  Staying intent on binding others to their sins isn’t good for us.  Sort of like taking poison and expecting others to die from it.  We have to forgive and leave the rest to God.  It will be healthier for us mentally and spiritually.  I’ll admit, I have problems with this one, especially when I’ve been wronged more than once by the same person or group…  But, in the end, it’s up to God and I’ve got to let Him do what He feels is best.

Ultimately, although rare, babies born as early as twenty weeks gestation can survive.  In looking at this film in light of the Gosnell case, it seems to me that too many people underestimate the sheer will to survive in babies.  So when one hears the horrors of snipping spinal cords and drownings in the toilet, it is especially discouraging.  Why, when people are paying thousands of dollars to adopt babies, so women feel like aborting is the only option?  While we have to help young people understand the difference between right and wrong…  we also have to help them understand that we will help them when they find themselves in such a position.  If we want them to make the right choice, they have to know they can count on us, despite whatever disappointment we might feel that they didn’t make the right decision at the time the child was conceived.

Truth be known, this film probably needs another post to fully discuss all that it offers, but for now, know that it is a good clean film.  It is however, very serious, and some of the discussions about the “procedure” may be too graphic for young ears.

God Bless!

Monsters, Inc.

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Monsters, Inc.

Borrowed from imdb.com

Henry J. Waternoose: Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it’s dangerous work, and that’s why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like… like… James P. Sullivan.

Since it’s being re-released in 3-D, this seemed like a good time to talk about this great Pixar flick.  It may be animated, but there’s really a lot you can get out of it.

Remember when you were a kid and you were afraid of the monsters in the closet (or under the bed).  What if those monsters weren’t really mean…  but they needed the energy from your screams to power their world.  Well, that’s the story with two of our main characters, Mike (voice talents of Billy Crystal) and Sully (voice talents of John Goodman).  The funny thing, is that these monsters are as afraid of us as we are of them!!!  So when a little girl they lovingly call “Boo” gets into the monster world, it is not only unusual, but something that can get Mike and Sully in BIG trouble and bring all of Monstropolis to its knees.

So, what dare we learn from this monstrous hit…

We scare because we care:  This catchphrase for Monsters, Inc. actually is referring to the fact that they need to scare kids for energy.  However, isn’t this also something that seems to be required to help people understand safety rules?.  We tell them to be careful crossing the street because they might be hit by a car.  We know if we touch fire we can get burned.  In some cases we need to be scared to understand the importance of some safety rules.  Sadly, if people don’t feel threatened, they don’t pay attention.

Laughter works better than scream:  Now, this is going to sound like I’m doing a 180 degree turn from what I said in the previous paragraph, but, when we’re not talking about safety, being happy really does work better than beating people down.  They say that we “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”  And that’s probably true (I’ve never really tried it to prove or disprove it)… but too often we seem to feel like “nice guys finish last” and use that to justify our actions.   But it’s true, admit it, laughter works better than scream.  We see that the “new” thing in companies like Pixar and Google is to create fun workplaces where you can bring your dog, hang out in comfy clothes and have toys around all day.  They find it increases productivity and makes it a place employees want to work.  What I find funny is how this seems to be a new thing.  Granted, this does mean that people do have to be motivated, need to set goals and actually get work done…  But why does it seem like it has to be in such a high pressure environment when companies are proving that a more “fun” atmosphere works well?Now, let’s take this outside the work world.  Can we employ this method in our families?  Remember Mary Poppins?  She encouraged that “in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”  Granted, she was making things fly around the room and such, but does it have to be that way?  I know in my extended family we’d all gather at Grandma’s where, after dinner, there were usually so many dishes and the house was so hot, that we went ahead and hand washed dishes rather than use the dishwasher.  It was usually “girl time” and we got to talk about things we didn’t care to share with the WHOLE dinner table.  It almost wasn’t something anyone minded because we enjoyed that time together.  It wasn’t unusual to break into song or something goofy like that.  We teased each other, laughed and learned.  We can apply this to learning and how we interact with those around us, try to be nice – and laugh when you can (it can be contagious!).

Loss of innocence:  One thing that is mentioned a couple of times during the movie is that children are losing their innocence at younger and younger ages.  Sadly, this one hits so close to home it’s not funny.  I know so many little ones who are watching R rated films that they don’t have to imagine much anymore.  I’ve known of several who felt like it was justified because they didn’t think their kids understood what they were seeing – until something happened one day to make them realize that their kids were understanding things more than they’d thought.  It seems that we’ve gotten to a point now that it will be hard to dial it back.  I just hope it’s not too late.  I’ll admit, we have to let them in on certain things to help keep them safe, but do they really need to see sex scenes, actual violence, vulgar language and various other improprieties for a young audience.  Any ideas on how to help get that innocence back?

Sometimes you’ve gotta growl:  Sometimes, you’ve done everything you can do not to, but sometimes, you’ve just got to growl.  And, it may scare those around us, but it is usually because we love them and we have to get something very important across to them.  Do try to make sure it’s not your first method of getting your point across though.  Be prepared – like I said, it may scare or upset, but when you consider what you’re trying to get across, sometimes it’s got to happen.

Don’t forget to file your paperwork:  Sorry, couldn’t resist!  So…  paperwork…  whether its taxes or children’s artwork, it’s still one we ought to keep in mind, both literally and metaphorically.  What other things might we need to file away – to keep properly stored for a later date?  To you, this could be anything…  finally putting together that scrapbook from your last family vacation, writing down your list of “to do’s” or making new memories with your kids…  This is the sort of thing that may seem silly or mundane, but needs to be done.

So, I hope you’ve gotten a few helpful points out of Monsters, Inc.  This is one of my (and my hubby’s fav’s).  I keep thinking if I have kids, a Monsters, Inc. theme would be awesome – and gender neutral.  😉  Maybe one day.  I promise this little flick has fun in it for kids and adults alike – Pixar really does some wonderful animation work!

God Bless you all!

 

In Her Shoes

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Borrowed from IMDB.com

Borrowed from IMDB.com

Maggie Feller: I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear. And whatever is done by only me… is your doing, my darling. I fear no fate… for you are my fate, my sweet. I want no world, for, beautiful… you are my world, my true. Here is the deepest secret no one knows. Here is the root of the root… and the bud of the bud… and the sky of the sky of a tree called life… which grows higher than the soul can hope… or mind can hide. It is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

Okay, so now its time to get in touch with the feminine…  Sorry guys, but this one is a chick flick.  Not to say you can’t get something out of it, but I’m just saying that the ladies in your life will probably identify with this one more than you will.

In Her Shoes is a story of sisters, their differences and the bond they share with their family.  Toni Collette plays Rose, the straight-laced and responsible sister.  Then there’s the flighty, flirtatious and frustrating Maggie, played by Cameron Diaz.  As different as these two sisters are, they need each other.  Their mother died when they were young.  Their father re-married a woman they don’t like and have been sheltered from a grandmother who had just a bit of a tendency to try to tell everyone what to do.  But, the girls are divided when Maggie breaks the oldest of the girl codes, by sleeping with Rose’s boyfriend.  Maggie has managed to burn her last bridge with everyone close to her.  But as luck would have it, in the process of pilfering around for cash, finds out about a Grandmother she thought was dead.  So, she takes off for a retirement home in Florida to sponge of her Grandmother.  In the meantime, Rose quits her job, gets a new boyfriend and tries to act like Maggie didn’t exist.

While in Florida, Maggie bonds with the Grandma she barely remembers and takes a job in the nursing center. There, she befriends a blind man who helps her build confidence in something other than her looks.  Rose does some growing of her own, but all the questions about Maggie’s whereabouts plaque her.  Then, Rose learns that there’s a Grandmother she didn’t know about, and she heads off to Florida and she finds herself face to face with Maggie.  During the visit, the girls start sharing and learn a little family history.  I’ll leave the rest to you to see for yourself.

Okay, so I promised that there was something to learn from this…  grab those Jimmy Choo’s and let’s go!

1.  Family is….  well, complicated.  Okay, so this one is a “no-brainer.”  As much as we need family, we really can hurt the ones we love the most.  Add to that, the fact that sometimes the ones we love need us to step back and let them make mistakes.  It’s hard to know when to hold them close and when to step back and it is such a fine line that it’s almost invisible.  However if we really listen to them, we should be able to find it before it’s gets too much either way.  They say we’re given one mouth and two ears for a reason.  So maybe our loved ones don’t need to hear every way they’re wrong.  I’ve got to get better at this one myself.

2.  There is a bond between sisters.     Between a combination of God’s grace, circumstance and parents who apparently liked each other, I have three sisters.  We are all very different, but each of us shares a different bond with each other.  There are fourteen years difference between the ages of oldest and the youngest.  We’ve set rules between us – we may not have written them down, but over time they’ve been established by years of being together as a family.  The topics we talk about, those we don’t…  and those we just shake our head at.  We see that with Rose and Maggie.  They share everything.  You can tell that when Rose and Maggie are reunited, Maggie is upset that she’s missed out on some major changes in Rose’s life.  And, as much as she wants to, Rose can’t stay angry with Maggie.  What I find fascinating is that Simon picks up on the how Maggie’s absence affects Rose.  As much as he loves her, he can tell that something is wrong…  he can’t seem to put his finger on it, but when he meets up with Rose in Florida, he can tell she’s back to herself.  He could see that Rose was not whole without Maggie.

3.  Perspective makes a difference.  It’s always amazing to me how two people can witness the same events and have completely different conclusions about them.  In the case of Rose and Maggie, the fact that Maggie was very little and was isolated from a lot of the craziness surrounding their early childhood and the death of their mother may have spared her a lot of the seriousness that Rose embodies.  Somehow, Rose always knew that her mother committed suicide but that was a new revelation to Maggie, who had always seen her Mother’s irregular behavior as just being really fun.  She recounts a story of her mother putting a tiara in her lunchbox one day.  The thought it was awesome that she got a tiara, however, she didn’t get lunch. Perspective. 

4.  Find what you love and stick with it.  I’ve said it over and over again, but it bears repeating.  Maggie discovers she has a talent for shopping for the ladies in the retirement village.  She loves to shop, and she manages to put it to use helping ladies these ladies to dress for weddings and other special events without having to fight shopping with their walkers, limited energy and various ailments.  She loves it and is good at it.  At the same time, Rose, quits working as a lawyer.  Simon tells her he thought it was because she loved it.  She admits, however, that it was not that she loved it, but that she was afraid of who she would be without it.  How often do we find ourselves doing something because it’s all we know (and not in a good way)?  It’s risky, and very scary, but something to think about.

5.  Don’t use people.  Help users find their niche.  I know, it’s obvious, but Maggie uses the people in her life until they can’t stand it anymore.  Her Grandmother allows it for a little while, but then manages to find a compromise where Maggie feels like she’s gaining and is able to build up some confidence.  I really don’t think she felt confident enough in herself to do any better before the deal.  Maybe that’s because she was babied her whole life, or maybe she just figured out that it worked and stuck with it.  Either way, it appears that once she really has a direction, the using stops.  One of the best methods of discipline is redirection.  How can we channel negative behaviors into positive ones?

In Her Shoes is rated PG-13 for good reason.  We start off with both Rose and Maggie having intercourse with their respective partners, and there is more as the movie progresses.  But for the most part, that’s over once the big fight erupts.  There’s also some innuendo and senior men gawking at Maggie strutting around in a string bikini and various low-cut or revealing outfits.

Whether you have a sister, or not, I hope you have someone you feel like you can share things with and I pray you won’t ever have to be tested in the manner that the relationship between Rose and Maggie is tested.  God Bless!

Rounders

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image borrowed from Wikipedia

image borrowed from Wikipedia

Mike McDermott: You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle. [pause] But you can’t win much either.   (Source:  IMDB.com)I don’t know what it is about Rounders – maybe it is the fact that I first saw it while I was spending a semester abroad in Rome, maybe I’m just a Matt Damon fan…  or maybe I’m just a sucker for a good movie where the underdog comes out ahead, I don’t know…  I really can’t tell you why I like Rounders…  I just do.

We see Matt Damon’s character, Mike McDermott seems like he has a pretty good life; he’s a law student who’s apparently doing well, got a girlfriend who is also in law school, and things just appear to be going in the right direction.  However, when his childhood friend, Lester “Worm” Murphey, played by Ed Norton, gets released from prison, his whole world get turned upside down.  We learn that Mike is a former gambler and apparently used to get into a lot of trouble with Worm and that Worm took the fall, refusing to rat out Mike, a debt Mike still feels like he owes and Worm is all-too-willing to remind him of.

So, with all the gambling, language and nudity we see in Rounders, what can we learn?  I know you’re expecting me to say “know when to hold them, and know when to fold ’em,” admit it!!  =)

1.  Loyalty is wonderful, but sometimes you do have to let the past be the past.  So Mike feels like he owes Worm.  It’s honorable that he respects that life he has could have been very different if Worm hadn’t covered for him.  However, when you see how poorly Worm treats him and how manipulative Worm is, you’ll understand.  We also have to consider that people change.  We don’t get to see what the relationship was like when Mike and Worm were kids.  The relationship may not always have been that bad, we may have to realize that part of Worm’s problem is the time he spent in the system and how he learned to cope.  But no matter what, I’m not saying to turn on Worm immediately, but Mike probably should have set some limits much earlier in the game.

2.  Listen to those with experience.  Mike definitely has people who both serve as consultors and guardian angels.  Joey Knish keeps alerting Mike to issues, so does Petra, plus Professor Petrovsky is like the wise old sage.  Some of them Mike does a better job of listening to than others…  But he finally wised up and realized that they weren’t trying to hold him back, only help.  It’s hard to see that sometimes.  We all want to think we’re in control – but, that certainly isn’t always the case.  Sadly, even Jo has been down this road with Mike before, but he doesn’t listen to her and she finally gets fed up and leaves him.  If Mike had listened to any of them, he could have been spared a lot of pain.

3.  You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle. But you can’t win much either.  I like to apply this one to just about anything you really want to do in life – and maybe even the things you don’t.  You don’t like math, you don’t invest yourself in it, you’re not going to get much out of it.  No matter what you want, you have to put in the effort.  The same goes for our faith.  We have to put a little work in to get anything out of it.  I get really frustrated with the “pew potatoes” that want to gripe about church, about not understanding the Mass, the Bible or the Catechism but won’t bother to try to remedy it and through self-study or learning opportunities at church.  Put in the effort – you may not be rewarded in the way you think, but you will be rewarded.

4. Know your limits.  Now, don’t take this to think I’m rescinding the previous paragraph or that there’s no point in dreaming, or working toward a goal.  But, you do have to know when you really need to change the game plan. You do have to consider how your decisions will affect not just you, but your family and others who depend on you.  You have to consider if the risk is worth the price.

5.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  When Mike finally realizes the depth of his trouble he does get help.  It’s humbling, but sometimes we really have to do it.  Asking for help takes many forms, it can be financial, educational, social, spiritual, etc.  We all have to do it at some point – we aren’t perfect, as much as we may strive to be.

Gambling addiction…  now, I didn’t mention anything about gambling addiction because I don’t think that’s what this movie is about.  There may be some addiction, but I think the point of the movie is the bond between Worm and Mike, and showing how two boys raised in similar straits are set apart by one event that affects them the rest of their lives, and how they deal with that based on their experiences.

So, Rounders is rated R for good reason.  I was serious about the gambling (duh), nudity (some scenes are set in a strip club, plus others that are just a way to show how bad things are), and the language is at times very vulgar.  But I don’t think we’d get a true sense of the seriousness of the setting if the filmmaker had toned things down for a PG-13 rating.  So don’t plan on watching it with youngsters around.  But, it’s still an enjoyable movie and one with a few good lessons if you’re willing to give it a chance.

Despicable Me

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Despicable MeEdith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this’d be more like Annie.

Gru: [reading the book he wrote] One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.

For more info, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323594/

So Gru is the bad guy that we find ourselves identifying with many times…  I think that’s why we love him.  Gru is the sort of guy who moves cars when the parking spot he wants isn’t available.  He gets tired of waiting in line for coffee, so he freezes all those in between, grabs the coffee from the barista and goes on about his day.  Admit it, some part of you says “Yeah, there’s days I wish I could do that!”  Okay…  but Gru does go farther.  He’s a thief – and not petty crime…  major landmarks (well, sort of!).  So, in his bid for title of ultimate evil villain, he sets his sights on stealing THE MOON!  And, what does a vilian who needs a little bank roll to get him started on a plot to steal the moon, he goes to the Bank of Evil.  Make sure you pay attention to all the banking scandal references here, and the caryatids!  And, it is here that Gru meets his new nemesis – Vector.  But, he needs Vector, but you don’t just ask your nemesis for the tool he has that you need.  Nope, a good vilian- and one who has to prove himself – has to find a way to steal it.  That’s where three little orphan girls come in.   Gru sees the girls selling cookies door to door and notices how easily they are granted access to people’s homes as they sell & deliver the cookies…  what a great distraction!  So Gru lies to the woman running the orphanage (who isn’t very nice to the girls either) and goes home with three sweet, energetic and slightly precocious little girls; Margo, Edith & Agnes.  In essence the girls save Gru and he finds his true calling.

This is a very cute, funny and absolutely precious movie.  So, if you haven’t seen it yet, check it out.  I believe it’s on Netflix and it runs on TV intermittently.  It seems to appeal to both men and women as well as boys and girls.

So, what does Despicable Me teach us?  There’s a few things here…

1.  Crime doesn’t pay.  Despite what you’d be led to believe at the Bank of Evil, crime doesn’t pay for either of our villains.  Don’t get me wrong, they have nice houses and have profited from their past endeavors, but neither villain profits from the current escapade.  In fact, monetarily, both lose out.

2.  New isn’t always better, just different.  Vector is the new guy.  He thinks he’s better and smarter than Gru, but there are times that Gru’s ways just work better.  Let’s just say, experience.  Gru’s methods are a little slower and maybe even a little more clumsy, but he gets results.  Vector relies so much on technology that even though he thinks he’s ready for everything, he misses a few things.

3.  Teamwork!  Gru is a team player.  He relies on Dr. Nefario, for inventions, his minions for base operations support as well as using their various talents on his missions, and he relies on the girls.  Vector uses technology as his “team,” but since they’re all his inventions, they share his short-sightedness.  Gru discusses and works out plans with his team.  All the players are working toward a goal, and also watch out for each other.

4.  The right decisions aren’t always easy.  Gru is faced with a very tough decision.  Be with the girls, whom he has grown to love, or continue with his master plan of stealing the Moon.  Dr. Nefario helps with this decision by having the girls sent back without Gru’s permission…  So Gru trudges on.  However, he has second thoughts and tries to right his wrong.

5.  You can overcome your childhood.  Gru’s mom was not one to give love easily.  In fact, she’s pretty mean.  Not the sort of “slap you around” type mean, but probably the worse one, psychological.  She’s always taking cheap shots at Gru, undermining his dreams and intelligence, and may even be the reason he decided to become a villan in the first place.  I mean, if you are raised thinking you can’t do any good, why not jut plan on being bad?  Now, PLEASE don’t take this to mean that a traumatic childhood can’t affect you.  But sometimes, those struggles, as awful as they may be, can lead us to help others in a way we might not have thought of otherwise.  Like I’ve said before, sometimes – just doing the opposite of the example we’re given can be a huge service to others!

6.  Love triumphs.  So, like I said, Gru tries to right his wrong and get the girls back.  As much as he tried not to, those girls melted his iron maiden heart and he began doing things for them, not just making deals with them to get what he wants.  And, on top of that, he finally gets kinds words from his mother.

7.  It’s okay for our only talent, to be loving others.  So, Gru isn’t the smoothest villan.  He hasn’t had the best luck in being a vilian…but we see that once he opens his heart to love, that his is wonderful at it.  Have you ever noticed that a loving individual lights up a room, gets other people to feel safe and all in all is just a joy to be around.  Those dear angels give us a glimpse of God’s unfathomable love.  I just hope we follow that example and bring that love to others!

So, you know in the beginning when I said we all have this part of us that identifies with Gru?  Well, I hope that you find that to be true – but in his love!

God Bless!

The Letter Writer

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So I had a quiet day at the office doing simple tasks like licking about 500 envelopes, so I put my Netflix account to use and stumbled upon The Letter Writer.  It’s another one that I never heard about but found it to be quite a gem.  So teenage singer Maggie has been having trouble at school and at home… her best friend betrays her, but just prior to all the mess, she receives a seemingly personal  letter from someone she doesn’t know.  It’s not the sort of personal letter that a stalker would send, but an uplifting and inspiring one.  A quick run through her family doesn’t find the letter’s author, so the resourceful young lady heads to the post office, where a carrier just happens to have another letter written to someone else but in the same handwriting.  So the chase leads to a retirement home – and luck or divine providence leads her to the letter’s author, Sam.

She is led through all the things Sam does.  He teachers her very valuable life lessons – and she has a bit of a conversion.  I’ll leave the summary there so I don’t spoil it any more than I already have…

So, what do we learn in The Letter Writer?  First, do what you do to the best of your ability.  Sam (the Letter Writer) writes beautiful, encouraging notes that uplift and inspire.  He does it every day and for random strangers.  Maggie asks him to teach her, but he says that he doesn’t know if it’s her gift.  She has to find her own gift and use it to help others.  Maybe it is letter writing, but most likely, it’s not.

Second, little things.  Sort of like in Contact, it’s the small moves.  Sam writes notes.  Not novels, not newspaper articles…  notes.  Small gestures, that mean the world to the recipients.  Sometimes just little things that are done do more than huge overtures.

The next lesson is about using your gifts to help others.  Sam could have used his talents to write a novel, or something else, but instead, he chose to bless others with his eloquent words through the letters and notes.  Maggie loves to sing, and finds her voice is her talent, and uses it to bring joy to others.  She also records books onto CD for a young boy in her building with cancer.  What talents do you have?  Are you using them at all?  Are you working on them?  Are you using them to help others?  Sometimes its hard to see how you can use your talents…  you think they’re not helpful to others – but for most every talent, there’s a need.  Maybe you have a great mind for tax law – can you give some time to help someone who cannot afford hiring someone to do their taxes and is not able to do it themselves.  Maybe you think you have a silly talent – organize a silly talent show and take it on the road to the local nursing homes or one big show for a favorite charity – or specifically invite those who don’t get to get out much…  Offer small classes with your talents.  You never know when someone is just looking for a reason to get out of the house.  There’s always something that can be done.

Also notice that Sam doesn’t force his talent on Maggie.  I’m sure he was honored that she wanted to learn how to write letters as he does, but he recognized that she was being called to something else.  Sometimes that’s the hardest thing, isn’t it…  to help others recognize their talents?  We tend to think people know what they’re good at, but how often do we see people frustrated and feeling inadequate.  It’s usually because they really don’t know where they fit, or because they just don’t have enough confidence in what they do.  We can help them find their place, it may take some time, but everyone has something.

Another great lesson is have something worth getting up for each day.  It appears that Sam has no living family, just his friends in the nursing home.  But, he sets his mind to write these letters and notes every day to have something to get up for.  I once heard that George Burns even at a very advanced age had planned events as much as ten years down the road.  It gave him a reason to keep going.  I’ve even heard that many animals live longer if they feel like they have something to do.  I think, simply put, we need something to help keep up our will to live.  What are your reasons to get up each day?

Another lesson Sam passes to Maggie is the age-old – surround yourself with the sort of people you want to be.  If you are a liar and cheat, you will attract those sort of people and you’ll never be able to trust them.  But if you surround yourself with people you aspire to be more like (hopefully faith filled people, whatever your faith), you’ll find yourself falling more easily into habits of prayer, joy and love.  He also teaches her to support those you love.  He and a friend come to Maggie’s concert, even though it’s not their type of music.

I hope, that whatever your reasons for getting up each day, you’ll take part of it to try to help brighten someone else’s day.  Even if it’s just holding a door open with a smile.  I also challenge you to try to discern (if you haven’t already) how your talent(s) can benefit others and how you can help others identify their talents!

God Bless!

Hitch

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What most attracted you to your significant other, or any of your friends?  Why do we think we have to be the “ideal” rather than ourselves when we meet people, especially those we consider potential mates?  Hitch deals with just those questions.  But, rather than bolstering the self-esteem of the clients he works with, he tries to teach them how to be cool to attract the object of the client’s affection.

Hitch, played by Will Smith, takes on a client named Albert Brennaman (played by Kevin James) who has totally lost it over the beautiful socialite Allegra Cole (played by Amber Alletta).  Hitch also has his own love interest, with whom his relationship has a much bumpier time getting off the ground.  Add to all that, that Hitch’s girl, Sara Melas (played by Eva Mendes) is a reporter trying to expose the so-called “date doctor.”  It makes for a funny, but very meaningful film.

At first it appears that Hitch’s smooth lines, grooming tips and list of dating dos and don’ts are really the way to the heart of the girl of your dreams.  And, while they do help, somehow it turns out that when the true feelings are exposed it’s when those brief glimpses of the real person are shown that the connection is really made.  So, I think this can best be summarized as “be courteous (as we all should), but be yourself.”  What good is it to work so hard to attract someone if you have to keep up a false facade?  It’s too hard to keep up that mask, and one day you’ll both wake up wondering who you really are.  Albert is told not to dance, but he does anyway when he thinks Allegra isn’t watching.  He’s told not to use his inhaler, but he does anyway (then chucks it in a sudden burst of courage).  He just can’t hold his true self in.  Similar things happen to Hitch.  Despite his attempt to be cool and suave, an allergic reaction not only makes him look like he has some sort of disease, the medication he takes for it make him talk and say things he would never say if he wasn’t under the influence.

Another point to be made in this movie is “Don’t jump to conclusions!!!!”  We tend to pigeon-hole people into areas based on what we see and in the process we might miss out on getting to know someone wonderful.  We see a great example of this with the whole Albert and Allegra part of the movie.  No one can see what she sees in him, both in his appearance and awkwardness.  It makes the idea that there is a mysterious date doctor out there so much more probable.

On that same track, Sara’s friend Casey, has a one night stand with a man she thinks she has a connection to.  As he’s leaving, he comments “date doctor my a**” which she takes to mean that she’s been played by someone who’s a client of Hitch’s.  However, in reality, Hitch refused to work with Casey’s one-night-wonder because he tries to connect people who are in love, not just out for tail.  So, Casey shares the story with her bestie, Sara, who ultimately learns that Hitch is the date doctor.  Then, rather than confront him about it, she blows up in a truly psychotic fashion and exposes him publicly, which then puts Albert and Allegra in the hot seat with him, along with many of Hitch’s former clients.

Another thing is look in this film is to look for the good in others.  If you are looking for the good, you’ll see their soul, which has the capacity to be beautiful for eternity.  But if you’re looking for what looks good, those looks are fleeting and won’t really satisfy you at the end of the day.  I hope it goes unsaid that if you look at the soul and see evil – just run.  If they don’t treat people well – and I’m talking bums to bosses, they probably won’t treat you well.  Granted, everyone has the capacity to change…  but you can’t make them do it, it has to come from within themselves.

Hitch makes a plea to Sara at one point explaining what he does as trying to get women (as most of his clients are men) to get out of “their own way” (of being) so that they will even give guys like Albert a chance.  How often do we have preconceived notions of our “type.”  We find it easy to blow off potential mates by saying that he or she isn’t our type.  But what would happen if we dropped our idea of type to try to get to know someone who may not be the type we planned for ourselves, but the type we are called to love.  In most great relationships, there is a balance.  Couples complement each other.  “Complement” meaning complementary personalities, skills and demeanor, not that they give complements to each other constantly (which could be nice, too)…  They really can’t be too alike or complete opposites.  There’s something there, but sometimes we just have to look beyond the surface.

Love versus sex.  Since Hitch refuses to work with those who are just out for sex, we see that this date doctor is a likable guy who, despite his methods, is really a romantic.  And, Hitch’s idea that the pursuit of love is more honorable than the pursuit of sex is pretty consistent with the rest of the characters.  We see those in pursuit of sex portrayed as shallow and loathsome.  While a lot of movies out there portray characters who learn that love is better than sex, this is one of the few that portrays it all the way through and doesn’t have to show the big conversion.

Hitch is rated PG-13 for some language and strong sexual references, but there isn’t an actual sex scene, which is refreshing.  And, due to the love versus sex undertones, some discussion of sex actually seems appropriate to get the point across.

For more info, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386588/

50 First Dates

26 Friday Oct 2012

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50 First Dates50 First Dates is one of those movies I wanted to hate, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t. I’m not much of and Adam Sandler fan. I really don’t care for Rob Schnieder. The humor is juvenile and silly, but what girl wouldn’t be totally impressed by a guy who works to make her fall in love with him every day?

So we start off getting to see Sandler’s character, Henry Roth, as the ultimate player. He only dates tourists and Hawaii is obviously full of them. But ultimately, Henry wants to sail up to Alaska to study walruses.

On one of his test drives with his work-in-progress boat, he gets stuck and finds himself waiting for help in a little cafe where he meets Drew Barrymore, who plays Lucy. Their first meeting seems magical and they spend quite a while talking, all seems to be going well. They part ways but Henry can’t get Lucy out of his mind.

So, Henry goes back to the cafe and tries to talk to Lucy – who has a MUCH different reaction than she did before. The cafe owner tells Henry about Lucy’s condition in that she cannot retain any new memories. Each night when she sleeps, it erases the day. While this is the PERFECT out for Henry, he just can’t stay away. So, he goes to the cafe each day and tries various things to get Lucy to talk to him again.

Lucy’s father & brother recreate the day of Lucy’s accident down to the last detail… the football game that was on TV that day, the birthday present they re-wrap each night so it can be given again, a whole stack of newspapers from the day – they cover every base they can. However, through a series of events, their game plan gets changed and they (with Henry) try a new strategy.

As much as Lucy can’t retain memories, certain patterns start to form and even her Dad can see the good Henry has done for her. But, Lucy fears her condition is keeping Henry from doing what he really wants and so she erases him from her life.

So, what do we learn from 50 First Dates? Well, a few things…

1. Conversion is possible. Henry was a player, but his feelings for Lucy made him better. And, shock of all shocks, SHE DIDN’T TRY TO CHANGE HIM!! Henry came to realize on his own how important his connection to Lucy was and all those hot toursistas just didn’t have the same appeal. But that change needs to come from within. If Lucy had tried to change Henry, we wouldn’t have seen his conversion. He might have done what she wanted in hopes of sexual rewards, but it would not have been a true conversion, and when she let him go, he would have happily moved back to what he was doing before meeting her.

2. What we do does affect others, even if we don’t see it, and many times even if they don’t acknowledge it. So, Lucy’s dad points out to Henry that she only sings on the days that she runs into Henry. Then later we see that she’s been artistically re-creating images of him, even though she claims she doesn’t know who he is. Even though she doesn’t remember him consciously, she does remember him subconsciously. How often have you walked away from an exchange with someone and kicked yourself for what you didn’t say, or read more into it than you’d previously thought was there? Everyone has those sort of experiences. Most everything affects us more than we realize – so be careful.

3. Laugh at yourself. Just about every character has certain traits that you can’t help but laugh at. There’s even a few jokes about Lucy’s “broken head.” We can’t take ourselves too seriously.

4. Fall in love every day. I think any and every relationship needs at least a little of this. There is always a certain “ebb and flow” to a relationship. We need to remind ourselves on occasion why we stay with our certain someone and maybe that’s why we celebrate anniversaries and Valentines Day as prescribed times to spend extra time and remind us to fall in love again. We really need to take a lesson from Henry here and work a little harder at this. And hey, most of us have the advantage of having partners who remember the things from the days and weeks before, so this should be significantly easier for the average joe! 😉

Much of the humor is quite crude and I find it sad that the filmmakers seemed to need so much of it with such a great story. If you decide to show this flick, you might want not want it to be a co-ed audience to prevent any awkwardness. However, most everyone has heard this type humor at school, work or somewhere, so I’ll let you judge what your comfortable with.

Want to learn more about the movie, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343660/

God Bless!