Category Archives: Drama

In Her Shoes

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Borrowed from IMDB.com

Borrowed from IMDB.com

Maggie Feller: I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear. And whatever is done by only me… is your doing, my darling. I fear no fate… for you are my fate, my sweet. I want no world, for, beautiful… you are my world, my true. Here is the deepest secret no one knows. Here is the root of the root… and the bud of the bud… and the sky of the sky of a tree called life… which grows higher than the soul can hope… or mind can hide. It is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

Okay, so now its time to get in touch with the feminine…  Sorry guys, but this one is a chick flick.  Not to say you can’t get something out of it, but I’m just saying that the ladies in your life will probably identify with this one more than you will.

In Her Shoes is a story of sisters, their differences and the bond they share with their family.  Toni Collette plays Rose, the straight-laced and responsible sister.  Then there’s the flighty, flirtatious and frustrating Maggie, played by Cameron Diaz.  As different as these two sisters are, they need each other.  Their mother died when they were young.  Their father re-married a woman they don’t like and have been sheltered from a grandmother who had just a bit of a tendency to try to tell everyone what to do.  But, the girls are divided when Maggie breaks the oldest of the girl codes, by sleeping with Rose’s boyfriend.  Maggie has managed to burn her last bridge with everyone close to her.  But as luck would have it, in the process of pilfering around for cash, finds out about a Grandmother she thought was dead.  So, she takes off for a retirement home in Florida to sponge of her Grandmother.  In the meantime, Rose quits her job, gets a new boyfriend and tries to act like Maggie didn’t exist.

While in Florida, Maggie bonds with the Grandma she barely remembers and takes a job in the nursing center. There, she befriends a blind man who helps her build confidence in something other than her looks.  Rose does some growing of her own, but all the questions about Maggie’s whereabouts plaque her.  Then, Rose learns that there’s a Grandmother she didn’t know about, and she heads off to Florida and she finds herself face to face with Maggie.  During the visit, the girls start sharing and learn a little family history.  I’ll leave the rest to you to see for yourself.

Okay, so I promised that there was something to learn from this…  grab those Jimmy Choo’s and let’s go!

1.  Family is….  well, complicated.  Okay, so this one is a “no-brainer.”  As much as we need family, we really can hurt the ones we love the most.  Add to that, the fact that sometimes the ones we love need us to step back and let them make mistakes.  It’s hard to know when to hold them close and when to step back and it is such a fine line that it’s almost invisible.  However if we really listen to them, we should be able to find it before it’s gets too much either way.  They say we’re given one mouth and two ears for a reason.  So maybe our loved ones don’t need to hear every way they’re wrong.  I’ve got to get better at this one myself.

2.  There is a bond between sisters.     Between a combination of God’s grace, circumstance and parents who apparently liked each other, I have three sisters.  We are all very different, but each of us shares a different bond with each other.  There are fourteen years difference between the ages of oldest and the youngest.  We’ve set rules between us – we may not have written them down, but over time they’ve been established by years of being together as a family.  The topics we talk about, those we don’t…  and those we just shake our head at.  We see that with Rose and Maggie.  They share everything.  You can tell that when Rose and Maggie are reunited, Maggie is upset that she’s missed out on some major changes in Rose’s life.  And, as much as she wants to, Rose can’t stay angry with Maggie.  What I find fascinating is that Simon picks up on the how Maggie’s absence affects Rose.  As much as he loves her, he can tell that something is wrong…  he can’t seem to put his finger on it, but when he meets up with Rose in Florida, he can tell she’s back to herself.  He could see that Rose was not whole without Maggie.

3.  Perspective makes a difference.  It’s always amazing to me how two people can witness the same events and have completely different conclusions about them.  In the case of Rose and Maggie, the fact that Maggie was very little and was isolated from a lot of the craziness surrounding their early childhood and the death of their mother may have spared her a lot of the seriousness that Rose embodies.  Somehow, Rose always knew that her mother committed suicide but that was a new revelation to Maggie, who had always seen her Mother’s irregular behavior as just being really fun.  She recounts a story of her mother putting a tiara in her lunchbox one day.  The thought it was awesome that she got a tiara, however, she didn’t get lunch. Perspective. 

4.  Find what you love and stick with it.  I’ve said it over and over again, but it bears repeating.  Maggie discovers she has a talent for shopping for the ladies in the retirement village.  She loves to shop, and she manages to put it to use helping ladies these ladies to dress for weddings and other special events without having to fight shopping with their walkers, limited energy and various ailments.  She loves it and is good at it.  At the same time, Rose, quits working as a lawyer.  Simon tells her he thought it was because she loved it.  She admits, however, that it was not that she loved it, but that she was afraid of who she would be without it.  How often do we find ourselves doing something because it’s all we know (and not in a good way)?  It’s risky, and very scary, but something to think about.

5.  Don’t use people.  Help users find their niche.  I know, it’s obvious, but Maggie uses the people in her life until they can’t stand it anymore.  Her Grandmother allows it for a little while, but then manages to find a compromise where Maggie feels like she’s gaining and is able to build up some confidence.  I really don’t think she felt confident enough in herself to do any better before the deal.  Maybe that’s because she was babied her whole life, or maybe she just figured out that it worked and stuck with it.  Either way, it appears that once she really has a direction, the using stops.  One of the best methods of discipline is redirection.  How can we channel negative behaviors into positive ones?

In Her Shoes is rated PG-13 for good reason.  We start off with both Rose and Maggie having intercourse with their respective partners, and there is more as the movie progresses.  But for the most part, that’s over once the big fight erupts.  There’s also some innuendo and senior men gawking at Maggie strutting around in a string bikini and various low-cut or revealing outfits.

Whether you have a sister, or not, I hope you have someone you feel like you can share things with and I pray you won’t ever have to be tested in the manner that the relationship between Rose and Maggie is tested.  God Bless!

Rounders

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image borrowed from Wikipedia

image borrowed from Wikipedia

Mike McDermott: You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle. [pause] But you can’t win much either.   (Source:  IMDB.com)I don’t know what it is about Rounders – maybe it is the fact that I first saw it while I was spending a semester abroad in Rome, maybe I’m just a Matt Damon fan…  or maybe I’m just a sucker for a good movie where the underdog comes out ahead, I don’t know…  I really can’t tell you why I like Rounders…  I just do.

We see Matt Damon’s character, Mike McDermott seems like he has a pretty good life; he’s a law student who’s apparently doing well, got a girlfriend who is also in law school, and things just appear to be going in the right direction.  However, when his childhood friend, Lester “Worm” Murphey, played by Ed Norton, gets released from prison, his whole world get turned upside down.  We learn that Mike is a former gambler and apparently used to get into a lot of trouble with Worm and that Worm took the fall, refusing to rat out Mike, a debt Mike still feels like he owes and Worm is all-too-willing to remind him of.

So, with all the gambling, language and nudity we see in Rounders, what can we learn?  I know you’re expecting me to say “know when to hold them, and know when to fold ’em,” admit it!!  =)

1.  Loyalty is wonderful, but sometimes you do have to let the past be the past.  So Mike feels like he owes Worm.  It’s honorable that he respects that life he has could have been very different if Worm hadn’t covered for him.  However, when you see how poorly Worm treats him and how manipulative Worm is, you’ll understand.  We also have to consider that people change.  We don’t get to see what the relationship was like when Mike and Worm were kids.  The relationship may not always have been that bad, we may have to realize that part of Worm’s problem is the time he spent in the system and how he learned to cope.  But no matter what, I’m not saying to turn on Worm immediately, but Mike probably should have set some limits much earlier in the game.

2.  Listen to those with experience.  Mike definitely has people who both serve as consultors and guardian angels.  Joey Knish keeps alerting Mike to issues, so does Petra, plus Professor Petrovsky is like the wise old sage.  Some of them Mike does a better job of listening to than others…  But he finally wised up and realized that they weren’t trying to hold him back, only help.  It’s hard to see that sometimes.  We all want to think we’re in control – but, that certainly isn’t always the case.  Sadly, even Jo has been down this road with Mike before, but he doesn’t listen to her and she finally gets fed up and leaves him.  If Mike had listened to any of them, he could have been spared a lot of pain.

3.  You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle. But you can’t win much either.  I like to apply this one to just about anything you really want to do in life – and maybe even the things you don’t.  You don’t like math, you don’t invest yourself in it, you’re not going to get much out of it.  No matter what you want, you have to put in the effort.  The same goes for our faith.  We have to put a little work in to get anything out of it.  I get really frustrated with the “pew potatoes” that want to gripe about church, about not understanding the Mass, the Bible or the Catechism but won’t bother to try to remedy it and through self-study or learning opportunities at church.  Put in the effort – you may not be rewarded in the way you think, but you will be rewarded.

4. Know your limits.  Now, don’t take this to think I’m rescinding the previous paragraph or that there’s no point in dreaming, or working toward a goal.  But, you do have to know when you really need to change the game plan. You do have to consider how your decisions will affect not just you, but your family and others who depend on you.  You have to consider if the risk is worth the price.

5.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  When Mike finally realizes the depth of his trouble he does get help.  It’s humbling, but sometimes we really have to do it.  Asking for help takes many forms, it can be financial, educational, social, spiritual, etc.  We all have to do it at some point – we aren’t perfect, as much as we may strive to be.

Gambling addiction…  now, I didn’t mention anything about gambling addiction because I don’t think that’s what this movie is about.  There may be some addiction, but I think the point of the movie is the bond between Worm and Mike, and showing how two boys raised in similar straits are set apart by one event that affects them the rest of their lives, and how they deal with that based on their experiences.

So, Rounders is rated R for good reason.  I was serious about the gambling (duh), nudity (some scenes are set in a strip club, plus others that are just a way to show how bad things are), and the language is at times very vulgar.  But I don’t think we’d get a true sense of the seriousness of the setting if the filmmaker had toned things down for a PG-13 rating.  So don’t plan on watching it with youngsters around.  But, it’s still an enjoyable movie and one with a few good lessons if you’re willing to give it a chance.

With Honors

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With HonorsMonty: Why did you say that I was a loser?
Simon Wilder: Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run. You try too hard.

Monty: Simon wrote his own obituary, and he asked me to read it. “Simon B. Wilder bit it on Wednesday.”
[they laugh]
Monty: “He saw the world out of the porthole of a leaky freighter, was a collector of memories, and interrupted a lecture at Harvard. In 50 years on earth he did only one thing he regretted. He is survived by his family: Jeff Hawks, who always remembers to flush; Everett Calloway, who knows how to use words; Courtney Blumenthal, who is strong, and also knows how to love; and by Montgomery Kessler, who will graduate life with honor, and without regret.”

Quotes borrowed from:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111732/quotes?ref_=tt_trv_qu

Years back, I got the opportunity to spend a semester in Rome.  In preparations for the trip, a student who had been the previous semester was advising the group of us to make sure we really took in the sights we were going to be encountering; clarifying that he saw too many people who were so focused on capturing the sights through the lens of a camera and not ever stopping to just take in the beauty that the camera can’t capture.  That same advice would have been ignored by our lead character, Monty, played by Brendan Frasier until a series of events brings the homeless Simon Wilder, played by Joe Pesci, into Monty’s life.  Simon, on the other had – would have been content to catalog his experiences in a series of rocks, rather than miss the breathtaking scenes around him.

With Honors begins with Monty meeting with a professor about his thesis and Monty is assured that if all continues on the path he will graduate Summa Cum Laude.  But, when a computer meltdown sends him running to copy his only hardcopy of the first ten chapters, Monty manages to drop his precious thesis and it falls into the boiler room of Harvard’s Widner Library.  So, Monty sneaks to get his paper only to find it being tossed page by page into a furnace by Simon.  They strike a deal, that for each good thing Monty does for Simon, he gets one page of his precious thesis.  It is through this process that not only does Monty learn to see life as something more than a series of tasks, but he also learns that even a homeless bum is a human and therefore precious.

So, I’ve already told you to two of the biggest lessons…but how, and what else can we pull out of With Honors? 

1.  There’s nothing wrong with achievement, but don’t lose yourself along the way.  Whatever it is that drives Monty, his childhood, his desire to do good in the world or the desire to be the best; he’s so bogged down in the academic that he’s missing college life, ignoring his feelings and not seeing the good he could do now.  Monty’s page-by-page interaction with Simon forces him to slow down and to re-evaluate life (and his thesis).

2.  All human life is precious.  Simon is a bum.  He’s well-travelled and self-educated, but for whatever reason, is a homeless wino who left his wife and young son many years prior.  Monty starts off helping him only because his thesis is being held for ransom.  Monty’s roommates don’t want anything to do with him…he is ridiculed by one of Monty’s professors and basically everyone he encounters.  While visiting his son, a little girl comes running out and asks her daddy (Simon’s son) who the man in their driveway is, to which he replies “nobody.”  But Simon is human, as are all those who are in similar straits as well as the affluent.  One of Monty’s roommates, Jeff, is particularly scared by Simon.  Finally Simon calls him on it telling him that the reason Jeff doesn’t like him is because Simon looks how Jeff feels.  I wonder if that’s true for a lot of us…

3.  The best relationships come from friendship. Monty is in love with his roommate, Courtney.  They are obviously very close friends… but with a little push from Simon, Monty finally lets Courtney know how he feels.

4.  You can do your best to right your wrongs, but people may still hold a grudge. Simon goes to visit his son and it’s pretty clear that his son isn’t about to “forgive and forget.”  But, you can only do so much.  Maybe, if Simon could have lived longer he’d have seen a true reconciliation with his son.  But, given the constraints of his life, he didn’t have much choice.  So, you have to do what you can do…  but in the end, you have to live with the consequences and forgive yourself when there’s nothing else left.  The other line behind this is – do what you can not to have to right any wrongs.

5.  Sometimes the biggest regrets are not the things you’ve done, but the things that are left undone. How often do you wish you’d taken a chance?  What about telling someone special how you feel?  It takes a little prodding, but finally Monty gets it.  Simon finally goes to see his Son.  It didn’t go well, but he did it, he got to see his granddaughter.  Maybe if he could have stepped up the pace a little – things might have gone differently.  In any case, I’m not saying that you need to jump on every opportunity or chance for change that breezes past.  We do need to make decisions about which ones are really important, and which ones we need to allow to float past.  Maybe the question to ask yourself is “Will this be something I will really care about in 5, 10 or 20 years?”

6.  Write your own obituary.  In the film, Simon has a collection of obituaries and is studying them to write his own.  Simon actually writes that he “bit it” and lists that he left his wife and son, owning up publicly to something he could easily have chosen to keep private, sort of a public confession.  Have you ever thought about your obituary?  What points of your life would you want in print?   Does your family know what to put in for you?  Take the time to write it.  Does it make you see your life differently?  Does it make you feel like you’re busy for nothing?  You might find it helpful in prioritizing your life, but maybe it can also be something that can help your family in the event of your demise.  Hopefully, you’ll get to revise it MANY times before such an event happens, but none-the-less, it might be a great starting point for that end of life planning you’ve been putting off.

With Honors is PG-13 for good reason.  The “end” of Monty’s friendship with Courtney is left to the imagination although they are in bed together at one point. There is a quick shot of Monty’s rear when he jumps out of bed to help Simon.  Other than that, there are a lot of sex jokes and innuendo that infiltrate most of the movie.  But, if you’re wavering, I’d say the lesson learned is important enough to make it worthy.  It might also be that you could use clips to illustrate certain points about seeing others as human and how we can help each other.

The Letter Writer

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So I had a quiet day at the office doing simple tasks like licking about 500 envelopes, so I put my Netflix account to use and stumbled upon The Letter Writer.  It’s another one that I never heard about but found it to be quite a gem.  So teenage singer Maggie has been having trouble at school and at home… her best friend betrays her, but just prior to all the mess, she receives a seemingly personal  letter from someone she doesn’t know.  It’s not the sort of personal letter that a stalker would send, but an uplifting and inspiring one.  A quick run through her family doesn’t find the letter’s author, so the resourceful young lady heads to the post office, where a carrier just happens to have another letter written to someone else but in the same handwriting.  So the chase leads to a retirement home – and luck or divine providence leads her to the letter’s author, Sam.

She is led through all the things Sam does.  He teachers her very valuable life lessons – and she has a bit of a conversion.  I’ll leave the summary there so I don’t spoil it any more than I already have…

So, what do we learn in The Letter Writer?  First, do what you do to the best of your ability.  Sam (the Letter Writer) writes beautiful, encouraging notes that uplift and inspire.  He does it every day and for random strangers.  Maggie asks him to teach her, but he says that he doesn’t know if it’s her gift.  She has to find her own gift and use it to help others.  Maybe it is letter writing, but most likely, it’s not.

Second, little things.  Sort of like in Contact, it’s the small moves.  Sam writes notes.  Not novels, not newspaper articles…  notes.  Small gestures, that mean the world to the recipients.  Sometimes just little things that are done do more than huge overtures.

The next lesson is about using your gifts to help others.  Sam could have used his talents to write a novel, or something else, but instead, he chose to bless others with his eloquent words through the letters and notes.  Maggie loves to sing, and finds her voice is her talent, and uses it to bring joy to others.  She also records books onto CD for a young boy in her building with cancer.  What talents do you have?  Are you using them at all?  Are you working on them?  Are you using them to help others?  Sometimes its hard to see how you can use your talents…  you think they’re not helpful to others – but for most every talent, there’s a need.  Maybe you have a great mind for tax law – can you give some time to help someone who cannot afford hiring someone to do their taxes and is not able to do it themselves.  Maybe you think you have a silly talent – organize a silly talent show and take it on the road to the local nursing homes or one big show for a favorite charity – or specifically invite those who don’t get to get out much…  Offer small classes with your talents.  You never know when someone is just looking for a reason to get out of the house.  There’s always something that can be done.

Also notice that Sam doesn’t force his talent on Maggie.  I’m sure he was honored that she wanted to learn how to write letters as he does, but he recognized that she was being called to something else.  Sometimes that’s the hardest thing, isn’t it…  to help others recognize their talents?  We tend to think people know what they’re good at, but how often do we see people frustrated and feeling inadequate.  It’s usually because they really don’t know where they fit, or because they just don’t have enough confidence in what they do.  We can help them find their place, it may take some time, but everyone has something.

Another great lesson is have something worth getting up for each day.  It appears that Sam has no living family, just his friends in the nursing home.  But, he sets his mind to write these letters and notes every day to have something to get up for.  I once heard that George Burns even at a very advanced age had planned events as much as ten years down the road.  It gave him a reason to keep going.  I’ve even heard that many animals live longer if they feel like they have something to do.  I think, simply put, we need something to help keep up our will to live.  What are your reasons to get up each day?

Another lesson Sam passes to Maggie is the age-old – surround yourself with the sort of people you want to be.  If you are a liar and cheat, you will attract those sort of people and you’ll never be able to trust them.  But if you surround yourself with people you aspire to be more like (hopefully faith filled people, whatever your faith), you’ll find yourself falling more easily into habits of prayer, joy and love.  He also teaches her to support those you love.  He and a friend come to Maggie’s concert, even though it’s not their type of music.

I hope, that whatever your reasons for getting up each day, you’ll take part of it to try to help brighten someone else’s day.  Even if it’s just holding a door open with a smile.  I also challenge you to try to discern (if you haven’t already) how your talent(s) can benefit others and how you can help others identify their talents!

God Bless!

The Music Never Stopped

27 Thursday Dec 2012

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Borrowed from IMDB.com

Borrowed from IMDB.com

Have you ever thought about a soundtrack to your life?  What do you think of when you hear a wedding march?  What about when you hear Taps?  What about if I started singing “Soft kitty, warm kitty..?”  All those songs have a particular meaning or memory attached to them.  I remember one particular song from my grandfather’s funeral and I have to choke back tears every time I hear it.  How did you decide what the first song you would dance to with your new husband / wife?  Why is that dance so important – how has that tradition lasted so long when so many other wedding traditions have been deemed passe?I don’t remember ever seeing a trailer for The Music Never Stopped, but this is one to catch if you missed it the first time through.  In the story, a phone call reunites a couple (Henry & Helen Sawyer) with their son, Gabriel, who had walked out about 20 years prior.  When they meet him, he has a brain tumor and had been living on the streets for some time.  The tumor is benign, but since it had gone untreated so long, his brain is damaged, preventing him from making memories.

Gabriel appears to be living in a nearly comatose state and only seems to be able to communicate using rhymes and songs.  So Henry enlists a Music Therapist to help Gabriel using the music he thinks Gabriel should respond to.  What happens next is that Gabriel responds to a different tune more consistent with his adolescent years.  In grappling with that Henry learns how to interact with his son in a new way – and even create new memories!  If you’re a “Dead Head,” a fan of the Beatles, Buffalo Springfield or any other similar bands of that era, you’ll be in Heaven musically!

So what can we take from The Music Never Stopped?  This family is all about music.  Henry is a big fan of Count Basie, Bing Crosby and classical music.  He raised Gabriel with an appreciation of this music, quizzing him on artists, years, and stories behind each song or why it is important to their family story.  Gabriel learned a lot while listening to all those greats.  In this case, music was used to help learn facts – not just through the music, but about the music and about their family.  Music was a way to open a conversation until they no longer had the same music in common.

In his teens, Gabriel joined a band and his musical tastes changed.  To Henry, this divides them.  He no longer has the common music bond to keep the conversation running.  He actually blames the music for his son’s rebellion.  Helen however, listens to Gabriel’s music as it reminds her of when he played in the band (before his illness), and helps her remember what he was like then.  Again, memories are attached to the music, a common theme throughout the movie.

We see Gabriel come alive when the right sort of music is played.  For Gabriel, that means the Grateful Dead, the Beatles, and many others.  Henry’s frustrations and fears of the time when Gabriel left all come back with a fury and he’s ready to give up on the whole thing.  However, he finally learns that in order to reach his son, and bridge the gap that forced their family division, he will have to give Gabe’s music a shot.  He lets Gabriel explain to him the meaning behind the lyrics and the relationship begins to bloom.

Mass music is a constant debate around my work these days.  Many of our youth are begging for more contemporary music while right now, the only book they are allowed to use only has a handful of tunes more recent than 1980.  For some, that’s “contemporary,” but not for these kids who were all born after 1990.  I consider myself a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to Mass – however now that we have a Latin Mass here, according to them I’m a liberal, but that’s a whole other issue.  But regardless, I do find that many of the old traditional tunes very moving.  I get goose bumps every time I hear the traditional Ave Maria.  However, I’ve also found several contemporary tunes that move me.  So, it’s a debate of old verses new.  Is there a right or wrong?  To some, there’s only one way.  But, to me, it’s an opportunity to teach.  Start with where they are, meet them on their level, but then bring in some of the old, help them gain an appreciation for it.  You can’t force it…  but you can work things in.  As it is, many contemporary Catholic artists are using some of the old with a slight twist – what a great way to start bridging the gap. Check out Matt Maher’s Adoration or Curtis Stephen’s In Paradisum if you want to see examples of what I’m talking about.

So back to my original question:  What is the soundtrack to your life?  Do you try to listen to what your children, students or others are listening to, or do you block it all out?  I encourage everyone to do the same thing with music that I’m trying to do with film – reach people!

Another question:  We see Gabriel learning to interact and retain memories using music.  Do we use music enough in Catechesis?  If you don’t use music, did this movie help convince you how it can help?  I always liked to use it to help introduce or reinforce a topic.  How many us remember the Preamble to the Constitution thanks to School House Rock?  Sadly, I can only recite the Prayer of St. Francis if I sing it in my head (or out loud)…  But also, knowing some people are not so moved by music, what other methods can we use to help make learning stick?  Check out materials on Multiple Intelligences!  You’d be surprised how much it can help!

The Music Never Stopped is rated PG.  It’s not something little ones would be interested in, but is clean and great for opening discussion about music, but most importantly – what moves us!!

For more information about The Music Never Stopped check out:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1613062/

Simon Birch

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simon birchAdult Joe Wenteworth: [voiceover] I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice, not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother’s death, but because he is the reason I believe in God. What faith I have, I owe to Simon Birch, the boy I grew up with in Gravedown, Maine.

Rev. Russell: What are you doing sitting in a corner Simon?
Simon: Thinking about God.
Rev. Russell: In a corner?
Simon: Faith is not in a floor plan.

Quotes borrowed from IMDB.com.

You could almost call Simon Birch a movie about a big boy with little faith and a small boy with big faith, but that would hardly do it justice.  Simon Birch is a small boy, so small he wasn’t expected to live more than a week when he was born.  Simon KNOWS he was created for a purpose, but somehow manages to get under everyone’s skin and find lots of trouble in his search.  His parents seem to care very little for him and it’s actually his best friend, Joe and Joe’s Mom that are the only ones who really seem to care about Simon.  Add to that, Joe and Simon’s search for Joe’s biological father (his mother refuses to tell) and you’ve got a movie with a lot of meaning.

First, it gets under everyone’s skin that Simon goes around saying that he was created for a purpose.  Why?  Aren’t we all?  Granted, we may not run around telling people like Simon does, but why did it bother everyone so much?  Even the Reverend seems to dismiss Simon’s questions about purpose.  He agrees with Simon saying that he’s glad that Simon’s faith helps him deal with his “condition,” but then when Simon leaves, he makes a little comment under his breath that makes you realize that he didn’t really believe in Simon’s calling.  And how does a child who is basically ignored by his parents and ridiculed by most everyone else, come to such a conclusion?  Where does that faith and sureness come from?  About midway through the movie, Simon has an exchange with Joe’s mothers boyfriend, Ben, where he says he’s watching for a sign – sort of like Moses and the burning bush, but he guesses God’s not into that type of communication anymore.  But at the same time, Simon says he feels like God needs to hurry up, he thinks his time is running out.

Those of us who are believers, believe that we are called by our baptism to be saints.  What do you think you may be being called to do?  Have you felt that little tug at your heart to do something, get more involved, or do something differently?  What?  Do you recognize it at the time or do you see it in hindsight? Do you think Simon would agree in light of his insistence that he is God’s instrument?

Simon is being raised by parents who don’t care about him other than when everyone is talking about one of his escapades.  Joe defends Simon to them telling them he’s a hero and that they don’t deserve him.  We see so many cases of parents who don’t deserve the gift of a child on the news – and in society as a whole.  Even when kids are a nightmare, do we still see them as a gift from God, or just another chore?  Do we encourage them?  Do we help them on their faith journey, or do we put up obstacles to it?  Parents are supposed to be the primary teachers of their children.  All of the other learning out there is great and they should be exposed to many different methods of learning including being able to get the gift of the experiences others can provide, but do we do our part, or do we expect others to do it for us?  Are we doing our part to educate ourselves to make sure children receive the best we have to offer?

Simon Birch also brings up a chance to talk about disabilities.  How do we view those with disabilities?  Do we see them as “less than” in some way?  Just recently I saw a video by two brothers (with a lot of help) defending their sisters with Downs Syndrome  http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/sasha-parentingcom/boys-defend-sisters-down-syndrome-viral-video.  Obviously the people they’re addressing did not see Downs Syndrome as a gift.  What can people with disabilities teach us?  What has someone with disabilities taught you?  Do you have disabilities?  Have those struggles helped you in some way or given you other gifts?  Has anyone told you what your struggle has meant to them?

Simon is also critical of the church he attends.  He says things like: if God is making the church bake sale a priority, we’re in trouble and that God doesn’t care about a continental breakfast.  What do you think he’s getting at with that?  Do you feel that way?  Or, do you feel that church should do more?  Do various activities bring people do church, or can they have the opposite effect?  When or why do you see that happening?

Are we threatened by people of faith?  Do we dismiss, belittle, or do we encourage those of faith?  How?  How can we deal with our fears if we have them?  How can we support those of faith and our own?  Do we force our faith on others?  How can we be respectful of those who don’t have patience with our faith without belittling our own?  How can we help other be more faith filled, or can we?

Simon Birch is rated PG-13 for good reason, despite his faith, he is still a 12-year-old with certain curiosities and a bit of a foul mouth, but this is one that I think the message outweighs the reasons for the rating.   It does get intense and might be hard for anyone much younger to take.  It is one that will make you laugh and cry and hopefully look deeper into God’s purpose for your life.

For more information on Simon Birch, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124879/

Big Fish

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Big FishYoung Ed Bloom: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It’s not that they are faster or stronger than other fish, they’re just touched by something extra.

Will Bloom: That was my father’s final joke, I guess. A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him. And in that way he becomes immortal.

Albert Finney and Ewan McGregor both play Edward Bloom in this mix of fantasy and reality that leaves you wondering what was really true and what wasn’t.  Edward is dying, apparently far enough along that his son Will (played by Billy Crudup) has come to be with him.  Will thinks his Father’s stories are all tall tales (or at least not “short ones” as Edward says), each one more extreme than the last.  The viewer is flipped back and forth between  Edward’s deathbed and flashbacks to his youth up through adulthood.

I honestly still don’t know if I fully “get” Big Fish, but I really like it and watch it on a regular basis.  It’s a beautiful film and watching it (more specifically the stories Edward tells) remind me of all those far out bible stories we’re taught from the time we’re kids.  Sometimes, I identify more with Edward – that the stories are necessary, something to draw attention to an otherwise boring event.  But sometimes, more often than I’d like to admit, I find myself identifying with Will, saying “just get to the point.”  There’s even an exchange where Will hears the real story of the day he was born from Edward’s doctor.  Will comments that he likes the boring version, but even the doctor says if he had the two stories to choose from, he’d pick the elaborate one.

So, let’s be honest.  How many of us find ourselves identifying with Will?  Do we want God to just get to the point?  Do we doubt what God is telling us – either in Sacred Scripture or in our lives? How do we deal with it?  Have we had any experiences that might make us lean a little more to Edward’s side?  Will thinks his Dad tells these stories to steer attention to himself.  Since the primary event that splits the two is Edward’s toast at Will’s wedding, is it so much that Edward steers to attention to himself, of that Will feels like he’s not the center of things?  How does that relate to us?  And when we identify with Edward, what is it about him that we identify with?

This is also a good time to reflect on some of those bible stories we think are pretty impossible.  Did Moses really live to be 120 years old, or was that just an issue of calendars?  What about Jonah and the whale?  Would we have paid attention to the birth of a savior without all the angels, shepherds, wise men and a death threat?  Do we think these stories are a case of poetic license or a statement of fact?  And, if you see it as fact, then what about the stories with differing details?  Or do the details really matter?

As Edward is dying, he keeps saying “That’s not how I go.”  He supposedly saw his death in a witch’s eye when he was a child.  Does he really know how he goes or is it just his way of reassuring everyone? What do you make of it?  If you knew how you would go, would it reassure you, or scare you?

What about the reoccurrence of water?  And Edward’s statements that he’s thirsty – or drying up?  Can the water have a reference to baptism?  Is his thirst physical or spiritual?  What sort of case can you make for each?

What or who are the big fish in our lives?  Do we bait it / them with gold or something else?  Edward finally catches his fish, but he lets her go.  What do you make of that?  Could Edward letting the fish go be equated with God’s Mercy somehow?

What story or stories would you want to be remembered for?  What story should you tell your children – or remind them of?  What happens when you tell or retell your stories?  Do your listeners believe you?  Do you have storytellers in your life?  What sort of stories do they tell?  What role does storytelling have in passing on our faith?

As you can see this is a film that leaves us with more questions than answers (even without my spin on things).  There’s just enough truth to everything that you just don’t know what all to believe (like when Will finds the deeds to Spectre and the visitors at Edward’s funeral).  All we really know is that Edward Bloom is a social person and Big Fish is full of stories!  I guess the final question is, “Does it matter?”  I’m still finding things (possible meanings, glimmers of meditations and ideas for discussion) in Big Fish – and somehow like Edward’s stories, I think there will be plenty here to think about for a lifetime!

It is rated PG-13 for some brief scenes involving nudity although not sexual.  There is also a headed exchange between Will and Edward – and one sexual reference, so if watching with a young audience, you will definitely want to preview it first…  but on the whole, it’s a fantasy with adventure, laughs and drama and Tim Burton’s classic style of cinematography.

For more info, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0319061/

The Family Stone

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family_stoneSo, my husband challenged me a while back to try to find something teachable in The Family Stone.  I’m not sure if that was because he didn’t think I’d be able to do anything with it, or what.  However, there are few movies I bother with that don’t have something worth learning in them – even if it’s by making sure to do the complete opposite.  So I accepted the challenge.  Plus, being set during the holidays – maybe it will help anyone who’s a slightly cynical soul looking for a holiday movie that’s not “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “The Grinch that Stole Christmas.”

The Family Stone is the classic, “bring the girlfriend home to meet the parents” movie.  Everything that can go wrong, does – and throw in some dark humor with a dying parent, a switcheroo and you’ve got it.  Dermot Mulroney plays Everett Stone and Sarah Jessica Parker plays his girlfriend Meredith Morton.  Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson are Everett’s parents and Rachel McAdams and Luke Wilson play Everett’s siblings (there’s another brother and sister, too, who are recognizable but not listed among the movie’s star roles).  Meredith is already on edge after a rocky lunch with Everett’s sister Amy (McAdams) as Everett takes her to meet his parents for Christmas.  Meredith is stiff and while she means well, just about everything she does is seen as pretentious and snotty.  So, when Everett asks his mother for the family engagement ring, she refuses.  Not to be stopped, Everett soldiers on and buys a ring to propose to Meredith.  Due to all that has gone wrong, Meredith asks her sister, Julie (played by Claire Danes), to join her so she’s at least got someone on her side.  Add some alcohol and reuniting with some old friends and you have the essence of The Family Stone.

Despite its PG-13 rating, I wouldn’t show this to a young group of teens.  The situations encountered are very adult, plus the sex and drug references might be uncomfortable for many.  Some may also find the incredibly liberal Stone household offensive.  So consider yourself warned if you think that may concern you.  If you decide to give it a try what can you get out of it?

1.  Let your freak flag fly.  In other words, be yourself.  Maybe Meredith really was being herself, but based on what we see later in the movie, her nerves had her putting on airs – and it definitely wasn’t appreciated in the Stone household.  In fact, it’s commented on that she seems so insecure that they don’t think she knows herself.  Then Julie arrives on the scene.  Julie is natural, unassuming, and seems to get along with the Stones just fine; so much so, that she can’t see why Meredith wanted her to come so badly.  Once she loosened up, Meredith showed that she really could be fun.  We also see that Meredith is a thoughtful person when it’s all said and done.

2.  Sometimes there’s more to the story than we realize.  Sybil Stone, Everett’s mother has a reoccurrence of her cancer.  She and Kelly (Nelson) have opted not to tell the family until after Christmas has passed.  Ironically, Ben (Wilson), who you might claim was the oblivious one in the family, is the one who figures it out first.  Sybil’s need to make sure that all of the kids are taken care of before her death comes out as being overbearing and unforgiving, at least as far a Meredith is concerned.  She even makes the comment that it’s not her (Meredith) that’s the problem, it’s just that she and Everett aren’t a good fit and she doesn’t think she’ll be around to help him sort it out.  It does eventually all come out, but it’s not until most of the damage is already done.  We also see that twice Everett is asked if his insistance on proposing to Meredith has to do with Sybil’s condition and everyone seems to doubt that he really loves her anyway.  How often do we rush into something trying to beat some sort of clock?  Maybe it’s the fear of death, maybe it’s sibling rivalry, but we’ve all got to sit back and let a certain divine clock be the only clock we want to keep in time with.

3.  Anger isn’t worth hanging on to.  Amy Stone (McAdams) seems to be so angry and defensive, as does Sybil.  Sybil’s feelings seem justified and Amy’s may be too…  but it doesn’t help anything.  All it managed to do is lay out a minefield even the nicest person would have difficulties navigating.  Believe me, Meredith finds each and every one of them!  Carrying around that anger didn’t make them happier, or even give them any satisfaction.  But, once they put the anger aside, everything goes MUCH smoother.

4. Sometimes we need to put up with people we don’t care for, for the ones we love.  When Everett tells his family off just before taking Meredith to a nearby inn, he tells them just that…  No matter what they think of her, they should be respectful because she is the woman he loves.  The same goes for everyone really.  We should love others because God loves them – and out of love for Him, we love and respect our fellow man.  Simple on the surface, but definitely harder in practice!

5.  There’s a hole in your heart.  Julie tells a story about a guy in Alaska that carved an amazing totem pole, he felt called to do it, saying that he felt like he had a hole in heart something he needed to do to be able to sleep at night.  It’s a minor part of the film, but its sort of the thing that brings her and Everett together.  Earlier in the film we see that when Everett and Meredith met, Everett was trying to get out to a monastary with the largest metal Budda statue.  He feels like he needs to do this – but Meredith seems to think it’s silly.  How often do you feel called to do something?  Do you feel like you have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled, something so important to you that it keeps you awake at night?  Do others “get” what you are trying to do? Why you feel like you need to do it?

I will say that every time I’ve seen The Family Stone, I’ve noticed a different detail of it.  It was one of those movies that I didn’t care for the first time I watched it (most likely due to the over the top liberal Stone family compounded by the fact that I just don’t care for Sarah Jessica Parker), but for some reason, I was still drawn to see it again – and at this point I’ve watched it many times…  The romantic in me likes it that we see how the re-arrangement of the couples and finding someone for all the singles makes for a much more pleasant dynamic.  Maybe there’s something to be said for how those around us affect our behavior.  Or maybe it’s just that everything worked out the way it was supposed to, regardless of the arguing, bantor and sheer bull-headedness!

For more information check out:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356680/

Contact

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contactPalmer Joss: [Ellie challenges Palmer to prove the existence of God] Did you love your father?
Ellie Arroway: What?
Palmer Joss: Your dad. Did you love him?
Ellie Arroway: Yes, very much.
Palmer Joss: Prove it.

Quote thanks to imdb.com

This “oldie but goodie” is one of my all time favorites.  I have always been fascinated by the faith versus science debate.  Do faith and science have to be exclusive of each other, or can science prove matters of faith?

“Blessed are those who have not seen, but believe.”  John 20:29

Jodie Foster plays Dr. Ellie Arroway, a SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) scientist whose mother died during childbirth and was raised by her father until his death when she was around 10.  Early in her career, she ends up doing SETI work in Puerto Rico where she meets Palmer Joss, played by Matthew McConaughey, whose questions of faith get under the skin of Ellie and all those involved in SETI research.  Her time in Puerto Rico is short-lived as funding is pulled and she ends up working for innovator S. R. Hadden.

Then one night, the team stumbles upon a signal.  It isn’t long before they realize that embedded within the signal is video and plans for a machine.  There’s a lot of fumbling for credit and questions as to whether or not this signal is friendly or not.  But, eventually, the machine is built and the search is on for who will take the maiden voyage in the machine.  Palmer Joss comes back on the scene and ends up on the committee who is in charge of selection and tanks Ellie’s chance to go out of fear of losing her.

But, nothing is simple, and the person chosen to go dies when a religious zealot sabotages the machine.  But, government redundancy being what it is, there was a second one built simultaneously and secretly, and Ellie goes after all.

While gone, she has an amazing experience, however, all they see back on earth looks like nothing happened.  So then, a big debriefing occurs and Ellie’s experience is questioned since she has no proof of her experience.

There are tons of faith verses science exchanges throughout the movie – I wish I could list them all, but then it’s a great reason to check it out for yourself.

So, what do we learn in our contact with Contact?

1.  Just because it hasn’t been proven yet, doesn’t mean it won’t or can’t be.  The battle between faith and science have been ongoing and what is interesting is how many times they actually seem to reinforce each other or that they’ve bowed to each other.  The Catholic Church has apologized to Galileo for refusing to acknowledge that the Earth revolves around the Sun instead of vice versa.  Catholic teaching at this point does not contradict evolution.  You do not have to believe or deny the theory of evolution to be considered a Catholic in good standing.  Those who choose to believe in evolution do so based on the idea that God’s time is not our standard seven-day calendar week.  Therefore, the work of creating the world could have stretched across months, years or eons.

2. Watch what you say because one day, the shoe may be on the other foot.  Ellie, I would venture to say, was atheist, but when it came to asking the panel to believe that she was really gone for about 15 hours, when all they saw was about two minutes of apparent failure.  With no proof to speak of, she asked them to have faith in her.  Sadly, her own arguments prior to her experience were used against her.

3.  We are all searching for truth.  Where do we come from?  Why are we here?  Are we alone?  Are we as wired for God?  Does God exist?  What other questions might faith and science be trying to answer?  Do you think they’ll come to an understanding, or do you think it will drive people to one side or the other?

4.  Some of the most notable scientists have been believers.  Why?  Why are so many not?  There’s an anecdote out there about Louis Pasteur and an atheist having a conversation when the atheist saw Pasteur pray the rosary.  Whether or not the story is true, Pasteur was known for his Catholic faith.  Many scientists claim that there is still too much out there that is unexplained to give up belief.  Some say the more they learn, the more they believe in God because something so complex as our world and our bodies couldn’t be a fluke of misaligned atoms.  Others, will always see science as proving we don’t need God.  Does our upbringing or preconceived notions of faith affect how we view the findings in the field of science?

So, do you find yourself more in Ellie’s camp, or Palmer’s?  Does it depend on the day, what’s going on in your life?  Do you think Palmer ever waivered during the film?

So, if you haven’t seen this one in a while, I encourage you to watch it again…  and if you’ve never seen it, it is a treat.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118884/

Henry Poole is Here

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Henry Poole is Here deals with that basic issue of faith. How is it that we can look at the same thing, and see something completely different from the person next to us? What does looking through the lens of faith do to our outlook? And why does faith seem to come so easily to some, and not others? Why are some people so afraid of it?

Henry Poole is Here is just a good, pretty clean movie with an ending that is slightly open to interpretation. Does Henry Poole find faith?

Here’s the skinny… this movie opens with Henry Poole (Luke Wilson) buying a house.  He really wanted a different house on the same street, but the owners wouldn’t budge, so he takes the one that’s for sale.  It has a spot where there’s a little damage to the stucco, and even though Henry says to leave it alone, the real estate agent has it repaired.  Through periodic flashbacks, we see that Henry has been diagnosed with some sort of terminal disease.  We never hear what or how long he’s supposed to have, but it sends him into a state of bitterness and anger.

Enter a neighbor who swears she sees the face of Jesus in the stucco repair job.  Henry tries to wash it off, which only seems to make it worse.  Next thing he knows, there is a shrine outside his house and lines of people flocking to it asking for miracles.  Not exactly the kind of activity you want going on while you’re trying to wallow in self-pity and isolation.

In the middle of everything, Henry befriends a neighbor with a little girl who doesn’t talk.  He’s afraid to get too close knowing his time is short, but can’t seem to stop.  The little girl, Millie, sneaks out one night and touches the wall, which seems to restore her speech.  Then the checkout girl from the local market touches it and no longer has to wear her EXTREMELY thick glasses.  But it’s still not enough for Henry.  He has no faith.

Next thing you know, testing shows no explanation for the face of Jesus that is still on the side of Henry’s house, and on top of that, the red substance it oozes is found to be blood.  Henry finally can’t take it anymore!  Sadly, I have to stop there to prevent ruining the ending for you…you’ll have to see it to find out what happens.

This is one of those movies that I watched with my hubby and expected him to hate because of the religious aspect of it, but it is my understanding that he really enjoyed it, so I’d say this isn’t just a flick for those of faith.  In fact, those who find themselves questioning and searching may find this film even more fulfilling because they can identify with the search.

So, what reasons keep people from finding faith?  Is it just that they aren’t convinced or don’t want to be?  St. Augustine talked about how he knew the truth long before he was willing to give in to it.  Henry is presented with a couple of miraculous events, but he keeps trying to reason them away.  Maybe they were psychosomatic.  Maybe their faith is what healed them more than an actual miraculous intervention.  Maybe that’s what Jesus means when he tells the different people that their faith has healed them.  For example, in the story of healing the hemorrhaging woman.  She just touches Jesus and he tells her that her faith has healed her (Mark 5:21-43).

Another question for discussion is, “Do we find the neighbor, Esperanza, inspiring or annoying?”  How often do we find ourselves in these type of confrontations in life?  Do we stick to our guns or slink away to keep from causing hard feelings?  What are you reactions to the priest?  Does he strike you as trying to be a mediator, or luke warm?  Do you think he believes in Esperanza?

If you haven’t checked this one out, you ought to try it…  maybe you’re experience will be different, maybe not…  but let me know what you think!  God Bless!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1029120/