Tag Archives: Family

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Featured

Posted by in catechesis, Cinema Catechesis, Drama, Family, movie, Movie Ministry

≈ Comments Off on The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Shmuel: I wish you’d remembered the chocolate.
Bruno: Yes, I’m sorry. I know! Perhaps you can come and have supper with us sometime.
Shmuel: I can’t, can I? Because of this.
[points the electric fence]

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - image thanks to IMDB.com

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas – image thanks to IMDB.com

Bruno: But that’s to stop the animals getting out, isn’t it?
Shmuel: Animals? No, it’s to stop people getting out.
Bruno: Are you not allowed out? Why? What have you done?
Shmuel: I’m a Jew.
 
Bruno: There is such thing as a nice Jew, though, isn’t there?
Herr Liszt: I think, Bruno, if you ever found a nice Jew, you would be the best explorer in the world.

At more than one point in history groups of people have viewed other groups of people as less than human.  One could argue that this attitude still remains, whether it is looking down on immigrants who come to the country through less than legal means, those who starve in a distant country, those condemned to a life of slavery and those in the womb.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas beautifully shows how we aren’t born with these prejudices, they are taught.  Most of the time, these teachings aren’t as blatant as what is portrayed here.  But it is a slippery slope.

The film revolves around two boys, Bruno and Shmuel.  Bruno’s parents have recently moved close to the concentration camp that Bruno’s father is in charge of.  You can see that Bruno’s mother is disturbed by the move, but everyone (and she herself) tries to convince her that it’s all okay.  Shmuel obviously recently moved to the area as well, except as a prisoner.  

 The lessons here are incredibly obvious, but still worth talking about”

We are what we know: Bruno and his sister , Gretel are isolated.  Bruno desperately seeks children to play with and spots a “farm” from his bedroom window with lots of children.  As he questions the adults about the “farm” they either ignore his questions or just tell him it’s off-limits.  But, he finally gets a chance (without permission) to go exploring and finds the “farm” for himself and meets Shmuel.  In his schooling, he is taught about who awful the Jews are, and how they are responsible for all that is wrong in the world.  But his friendship with Shmuel keeps seeds of doubt planted.  Gretel, on the other hand, is immersed in the teaching and is soon seen lining her bedroom walls with Nazi propaganda.

Looking back, we wonder how anyone could have those sort of thoughts about other humans, but, that was what was being taught by a few angry people with influence, who passed that teaching on, and so on and so forth.  So, it was what people knew.  In teaching religious education classes students often commented on how they didn’t understand how their friends from other faiths could believe the things they did.  And, being in the “buckle of the bible belt” they were tired of answering the same questions about Catholic beliefs and traditions.  I often had to remind them that being raised in a Catholic home, the Catholic faith made sense and vice-versa for their non-Catholic friends.  At one point in time many people thought slavery made sense, and it still happens in many places we don’t want to talk or think about.  Ultimately, it needs to not be about what we are taught by society, but by our Catholic morality.  If we follow that, we will always recognize the dignity of human life.

We also have to take the time to learn about both sides of any story.  It is the only way to be able to make informed decisions, argue any point or just be a more empathetic people.  It may be that learning the whys and hows of the other side, may help us better understand and articulate something we were already pretty sure of!

If it had been just one man, I’m sure something would have been done.  Okay, so I had to sort of laugh at this one.  The kids are reading a book out loud about “the Jew” and how terrible “the Jew” is.  In this context, “the Jew” is referring to the entire Jewish race.  But when the kids’ tutor points out that “if it had been just one man, I’m sure something would have been done” I was thinking, that it was once one man, one Jew, and they did do something!  They crucified him!  But he still influences the world!

Not everyone believes the same thing, but may be afraid to speak out for fear or repercussions: Bruno’s Grandmother is definitely not happy about the agenda of the Nazi party, or her son’s part in it.  She even blames herself saying that the costumes she made him as a child must have made him want to don the uniform he wears so proudly.    But, he reminds her that airing her views so publicly could get her into a lot of trouble.  Even Bruno’s mother has an issue with what she sees happening, but she just tries not to see it.  So, we have to keep this in mind.  We can say “why didn’t someone do / say something” but we have to realize that not everyone is free to do so…  that’s why we have martyrs, but not everyone is willing to make that sacrifice.

All life is valuable and disrespect for it leads to trouble for all:  Where do you draw the line?  The Nazi’s first started with a small group, but as time went on, they continually opened their net wider and wider.  Many wars were aimed at soldiers fighting each other and deaths of women and children were incidental…  but as time has gone on and warfare had changed, there is not much of a distinction.  Why is it that we can recognize life in the womb if the mother wanted it, but so many can disregard it if the mother doesn’t want it, or if it’s in the first few weeks of gestation?

Interesting to note:  There is a definite cinematic element to this film showing a warmth when the family is in Berlin, compared with a cold, grey, modern house when they move to the country.  My guess would be that this was on purpose, showing the difference as you get closer to the coldness of the camp and the death that lies inside it.  What do you think?

More questions for consideration and reflection:

  • What people are at risk of this type of persecution today?
  • What can we do to prevent this sort of thing from happening again?
  • What is something you realize you need to learn more about?
  • What prejudices do we have that we need to work on ourselves?

Personally, I think we are diluting ourselves to think that this type of thinking is incapable today, so we should remind ourselves of the horrors periodically.  The movie is rated PG-13 for mature thematic elements about the Holocaust.  It probably wouldn’t interest younger viewers, but there really isn’t anything that would give a child nightmares or something like that.  The worst is when one of the jews is pouring wine for dinner and accidentally knocks over a glass and is drug out and beaten (away from camera view).  Ultimately, it is moving, beautiful and shows a beautiful friendship between two unlikely friends.

Unstoppable

Featured

Posted by in Action, catechesis, Cinema Catechesis, movie, Movie Ministry

≈ Comments Off on Unstoppable

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ned Oldham: Connie. Yeah, it’s Ned.Unstoppable
Connie: Did you throw that switch yet?
Ned Oldham: Yeah, six minutes ago. But your train, it’s not here. I thought it might be going a little slower than you guessed, but these two numb nuts that you sent, they just showed up and they ain’t seen it either.
Connie: Are you saying our train’s already passed?
Ned Oldham: Yes, ma’am. That’d be my guess.
Connie: It’s not a coaster. That train’s under power.
Ned Oldham: That’d be my guess, too.
 

In the movie, Unstoppable, Denzel Washington, Chris Pine and Rosario Dawson star in this action film where a chemical laden runaway train has to be stopped before potential disaster.  The film is “inspired by true events” and although is critiqued for its unrealistic details, is still a gripping and entertaining film if you’re willing to let those details go.

Denzel Washington plays engineer Frank Barnes on his way out (involuntarily) and Chris Pine plays Will Coleson who is just coming in as a conductor.  A failure to pay attention to detail and then a backhanded method of trying to fix it by the guys at the yard, as well as lack of full disclosure of the problem, sets things in motion and a minor issue starts a chain of events that leads to potential disaster.

Not for you:  How often in life do we do something that will benefit someone, but ultimately also benefit someone with whom you have issues?  

Oscar Galvin: I am not going to jeopardize any more property or personnel just because some engineer wants to play *hero*! Now you stop your pursuit or I will fire you!
Frank: [chuckles] Fire… You already did.
Oscar Galvin: Already did what?
Frank: You’ve already fired me. I received my 90 day notice in the mail… 72 days ago.  Forced early retirement. Half benefits.
Galvin: So, you’re going to risk your life for us with three weeks left.
Frank: Not for you. I’m not doing it for you.
 

I’m sure if you think about it, it happens more frequently that you realize.  I have always wanted to do a good job for my clients, my parish, my students, whatever the case may be, and sometimes that meant helping someone I didn’t want to help or making them look good.  IE: That boss or co-worker who always takes the credit.  I keep trying to keep Matthew 6:6’s statement on prayer and apply it to this need to tell people who’s really doing the work:

“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.”
 

Normally, those things irritate us to no end, but there’s usually not life at stake. Are you content to stand back and just do your job or do you need to be the hero? Why?  Frank and Will head in to something unbelievably dangerous because they feel like it’s the right thing to do.  They had every right not to do it; the potential of fired, one life had already been claimed (you’ll see), and everything seemed to be going against them, but they felt compelled to do it anyway.  We’re all focused on who we’re really working for – that’s good, very good!  We just have to keep reminding ourselves who we’re really doing our work for – and hopefully God is at the top of the list!

Cooperation is a REQUIREMENT!  One thing about this movie, whether it’s in the relationship background stories or the way they handle the runaway train, is how much cooperation is needed.  We see what happens when people work together… and what happens when they think they know it all and don’t need anyone. I always hated group work as a student, but professionally, I love a team atmosphere and team work.  When everyone gels, massive things get done – but if one person holds back, or insists on their way, it certainly makes things difficult! In what ways are you a team player?  In what ways are you not?  What can you do to help that?  We’re all called to share our gifts to build up the body of Christ!!!  If we all used our gifts as God calls us to, we can do AMAZING things to bring others to Him.  Let’s get moving!!

When you’re in an argument with someone, sometimes you have to imagine how you’d feel if they were in danger.  Would the argument matter? Will and his wife have had a bit of a “misunderstanding.”  This misunderstanding has led to a restraining order and Will sleeping on his brother’s couch.  But, we see that when Will’s wife realizes that Will is in definite danger, the misunderstanding melts away and we are led to understand they worked things out.  As much as I don’t want to sometimes, when the hubs and I argue, I try to keep this in mind before either of us leaves the house.  Would I really want angry words to be our last to each other?  I’m not saying bury the issues. Remember that deep down you love each other and keep that in mind even though you might not like each other very much at the moment.  Obviously, this can also apply to other relationships…  Parents and children, siblings, friends, etc. all have to remember this.  So, is there someone in your life that you need to reconcile with before they are taken from this earth and you lose your chance?

Do you “quit too easy?”  When Will tells the story of his marriage woes and his attempts to reconcile with his wife, Frank tells him that he (Will) quit too easily. Sound familiar?  Many people seem to forget that there is work to making a marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, some people seem to have to work harder than others, but there is a need to communicate feelings, finances and everything else. I have friends who laugh about the “marriage is work” statement because they never felt it was work, but I promise, whether it was conscious or not, they have to work on it.  They have four kids and another due any day.  The kids are in scouting, sports and all that.  They still talk to each other, have “date nights” and its more than just coordinating kids schedules. But, they’ve found a balance that works for them and they’ve got it down in such a way they don’t find it to be work.  Again, this concepts applies to more than just marriage.  It can be a job, relationship, a goal, whatever…  You may have a long-lasting marriage, but do you “quit too easy” about something else?

We’re all God’s children:  At one point, Frank and Will are discussing families and we hear that Frank’s daughters are Hooter’s waitresses (there are a few shots of them at the restaurant, too).  Will raises an eyebrow and asks how Frank feels about that.  Frank says he has gotten used to it, but you can tell he’s not happy about it.  As “men” they “love” Hooters, but as a father, not so much.  So, this can be a good opportunity to show how people react to how we present ourselves AND help us to remember that we are all children of God. Whether it’s a man checking out a scantily clad woman or the reverse, we have to remember that object we’re ogling is a child of God – and how would he feel about us objectifying one of His children that way?  This is a responsibility we all bear.  This is not just a “women cover yourselves” issue.  We all play a part.

Not a whole lot of places to go.  One thing about a train is how it cannot run without it’s track.  There’s no jumping off track and running cross country or even down a standard highway.  When it goes off the track, it’s usually pretty bad. That’s why when we say things like “we’re on track” or “we’re heading down the right track”, it indicates things are good.  When we get off track, it’s usually not good.  What things make up your track?  What helps keep you on track?  What knocks you on track?  What do you do to get back on track when you get derailed?

What high speed train is running through your life right now?  How are you handling it?  Cut it off from up front?  Trying to derail it?  Grab it from behind?  What has been your experience with it?

Triple seven – what does it mean?  777 has been considered to be the perfect number, which is why 666 is supposed to be the “mark of the beast” (three time falls short of 7) – so, do you think there might be some significance in that number being chosen as the runaway train and not 1206 which is the train that they use to try to stop 777.  Triple seven is obviously is extremely powerful – blowing through train cars as if they were tissue paper and flying down the track.  Do you think it was intentional – or just convenient?  Is it a way of saying that God is unstoppable and that whatever we think we can do to control the situation is nothing compared to His power?  What other meanings might it have?

It’s a wrap:  I have to admit, when I threw my copy of Unstoppable in the Blu-ray I wasn’t sure what I was going to be able to glean from it…  I just enjoy it and felt drawn to write on it.  This is not a kids movie by any stretch.  It is rated PG-13 with good reason, the language being the worst – and for the most part, the foul language is limited to the characters responsible for the runaway train, but it is a high-pressure situation, so the f-word flies around a bit.  The only thing sexual is watching Frank’s girls in their short shorts and skin tight clothes.  It is an intense film, but not violent or gory.  So it should be okay for adolescents – but as always, review it first.

Blessings!

We Bought A Zoo

Featured

Posted by in Cinema Catechesis, Comedy, Drama, Family, Kid Friendly, movie, Movie Ministry

≈ Comments Off on We Bought A Zoo

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We Bought A Zoo

image borrowed from IMDB.com

Duncan Mee: I like the animals. I love the humans.

Benjamin Mee: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

We Bought A Zoo is a great family flick.  Benjamin Mee, played by Matt Damon is a recent widower trying to raise his two kids on his own.  He decides a change is in order due to a series of events: His son Dylan, whether due to his mom’s death or just teenage melancholy, has a very dark style and has exceeded the three strike policy at his school;  Add that to feeling like a piece of meat thanks to all the single moms at his kids’ school;  Then throw in quitting his job because he’s been given the impression that the only reason he still has it is due to sympathy for his wife’s death.  So, after a horrible day house hunting, they find the perfect house, however, they find it’s part of a defunct zoo.  How hard can it really be???

So with all its heartwarming charm, cast of crazy characters and a few temperamental animals, what lessons can we glean from We Bought A Zoo.

Don’t use people’s sympathies against them:  Dylan is going through a rough time.  No one would doubt that for a minute.  However, he uses it, and plays on it.  He wallows in it, expects everyone else to navigate the minefield he has thrown down.  He even says that no one would expel a kid who just lost their mom.  Now, I’m not saying that Dylan doesn’t have good cause to grieve.  And everyone handles grief differently, but the expectation that everyone will cut him slack indefinitely is a little hard to defend.  And, as Dylan finds out, over time, patience wanes and he won’t always have his grief as a “get out of jail free card.”  So what do you do?

You just need twenty seconds of insane courage:  This is one of the main lines you hear in the trailer, as well as a few times through the movie.  But, its true, isn’t it?  Twenty seconds are actually a long time  – especially when the blood is pumping and that “fight or flight” response kicks in.  In the case of the Mees, they are referring to matters of the heart.  But, that twenty seconds can also be used to speak up in the face of injustice, leap into action in an emergency, volunteer your gifts, etc.  Now, that twenty seconds doesn’t include the thinking time, so don’t use it as an excuse to do something you really shouldn’t.  But when push comes to shove, it only takes twenty seconds to say “yes,” to act in whatever way you’re being called to.  Then, if you take twenty seconds, it might give someone else twenty seconds and so on.  Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone, is the small push that others need, too.

Think about this too in the case of evangelization and missionary work.  I was recently talking to one of my former students who has signed up to be a college missionary.  In their training, they were dropped on a beach and told to go spread the Gospel.  Going to talk to complete strangers is hard enough and then you throw in trying to talk to them about God and His good news!  Admit it – would you do it?

I like the animals.  I love the humans:  When I think about this one, the old bumper sticker “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog” springs to mind…and you expect the zoo staff to have that same philosophy.  The Zoo is full of lots of exotics – both animals and people.  They all make for some pretty interesting events. But, with the exception of the aged lion, the animals are really just a backdrop.  It’s the interaction between the human species that really makes things work.  The support they give each other in spite of their vast differences and idiosyncrasies is really amazing, and they are all pushed by a common goal.  They have a camaraderie that makes them more like a family. They genuinely love each other.  They spend off time together, the whole bit.  A couple of times we see the question posed, “If you had to choose animals or people, which would you choose?” And, despite the love and care shown to the animals, the people win.  So, what do you think you’d choose? 

Next, I’ve noticed that there seems to be a lot of people who show more care and concern for animals than they do for humans.  Ironically, most animal rights people I know are avidly pro-choice.  So, an animal gets better treatment than a human?  How does that work? Now, don’t get me wrong…  I’m pro-life and love animals.  I’ve always had at least one dog, several horses, and have even been around quite a few cows, pigs and chickens and definitely don’t like to see them scared, or in pain.  Loosing our “first-born” chocolate lab mix a few months ago has been really hard, but my love for a being that’s not even the same species helps me know that the power of love is much stronger than we give it credit for.  But, the horrors of what happens during an abortion takes precedent.  There are so many people paying huge amounts of money for babies – and yet so many women feel like they have no other option.  Sadly, I think more than anything, those women are afraid that if they carry a baby to term, they’ll develop that love and they are trying to spare themselves the potential hurt of giving up someone they love or upsetting their current way of life.

When you do something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you:  So, more than once Benjamin is accused of being out of his mind for buying and thinking he could handle running the zoo.  But, its out of love for his children that he is driven to make it work.  He wants them to have the adventure.  He probably (although it’s not stated) is hoping to give them something else to focus on than their grief.  And since they have moved to an area that is relatively distant from the conveniences of town, it might even be something for the kids to do.  But ultimately it’s love – the pure, unconditional love of a father for his children. 

Tree in the road:  (Spoiler alert!!)  So, at the end, they are all ready to open, the rain has lifted, but no one is coming…  their worst fear.  But its Dylan’s faith that says that there’s something wrong.  A tree has fallen blocking the drive to the park, so no one can get to the entrance.  So, you’ve got the right reasons, you’ve accomplished the impossible, but what trees are still in your road?  Do you accept them as a roadblock, or to you charge out to get over?

So, We Bought A Zoo is rated PG, features the talents of Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, and Thomas Hayden Church among many others and with the exception is of the zoo inspector being called or referred to as d— and a little bit of kissing is very clean and a lot of fun.  Benjamin’s assertion that “he had the real thing” when his brother tries to encourage him to get permiscuous is encouraging and is a good example of what love really is.  It might be a little deep for really young viewers, but for those old enough, it is one full of lessons that I’d like my kids to know.

Want to see more about We Bought A Zoo?  Check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1389137/

Pride & Prejudice

Featured

Posted by in catechesis, Cinema Catechesis, Drama, movie, Movie Ministry

≈ Comments Off on Pride & Prejudice

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Pride & Prejudice image borrowed from IMDB.com

Pride & Prejudice image borrowed from IMDB.com

Elizabeth Bennet: So which of the painted peacocks is our Mr. Bingley?
Charlotte Lucas: Well he’s on the right and on the left is his sister.
Elizabeth Bennet: And the person with the quizzical brow?
Charlotte Lucas:That is his good friend, Mr. Darcy.
Elizabeth Bennet: The miserable poor soul!
Charlotte Lucas: Miserable, he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.
Elizabeth Bennet: Tell me.
Charlotte Lucas: Ten thousand a year and he owns half of Derbyshire.
Elizabeth Bennet: The miserable half? 
 

Pride & Prejudice originally was a book written by Jane Austen. It has been adapted for just about every possible performance type and made more than once for the silver screen.  I’ll admit that I’ve never read the book…  but I do hope to.  With so many versions out there, I’m going to limit myself, for the purposes of this entry to the 2005 version where Keira Knightly portrays Elizabeth (aka Lizzie) Bennet.

A quick synopsis for those who don’t know the story:  Pride & Prejudice is the story of the Bennett family and all the drama that surrounds the need for the five daughters to marry well since being female prohibits them from inheriting the estate on which they live.  The eldest daughter, Jane, is quite known for her beauty   and Elizabeth is pretty, but not considered nearly as beautiful as Jane.  The middle daughter is very quiet and homely but plays the piano quite well.  The other two girls, Lydia & Kitty, are quite silly and get quite a reputation as such.  The majority of the film centers around Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.  Mr. Darcy is very shy, not easy to talk to, and seems like he has a cloud of negativity surrounding him.  He and Elizabeth seem like polar opposites although despite the appearance of being upbeat, Elizabeth seems very negative when it comes to matters of the heart.  So, through a series of overheard conversations, assumptions, misunderstandings and confessions the viewer is drawn in to one of the great love stories of all time.

So what can we gain from what most people see as just a beautiful love story?

Not everyone wears their emotions on their sleeve.  One thing that’s obvious from Pride & Prejudice, as in life, is that not everyone shows their emotions the same way.  An attempt not to seem to eager can come off as indifferent or hateful.  Just because someone does not react the way you think they should, doesn’t make it wrong.  In many cases, there is much more to the story. Surely you’ve seen this in how people handle issues of the day.  Some of the sweetest, most thoughtful people I know are perceived to be “cold fish” when they first meet someone…  and we could go all day on how different people handle grief.  So we do have to be conscious of these differences in our everyday lives, especially when we do not know others particularly well, if at all.

There’s always another side to the story. Maybe it’s naïve, maybe it already happens, but I think that when people are running for a major office, they should, once they’ve gotten pretty close to the end of the campaign, be taken into a room and brought up to speed on all the important stuff going on from the inside track.  I truly believe this is the reason for at least 50% of the broken campaign promises.  Once they really see the full picture, it’s not as simple as it looked on the campaign trail.  We see something similar in Pride & Prejudice.  Mr. Wickham tells a story of how he and Mr. Darcy are acquainted and Elizabeth takes it as gospel because of how little she thinks of Mr. Darcy.   Also, Elizabeth doesn’t discuss the various exchanges she has with Mr. Darcy after their first terse encounters.  So when she has a change of heart about Mr. Darcy, everyone believes the worst of him and can’t understand why she has made such a complete turn around.  There’s always more to the story.  The trick is realizing it and seeking the truth.  Do you notice it in your workplace, or with your family?  When both sides come out, things usually make much more sense.  Think about this in terms of Church history.  When you hear that “Catholics used to chain up the bibles” it’s usually to make Catholics feel like the Church was withholding the Bible from the people.  But, when you consider that this accusation was pre-printing press and that bibles were hand copied and there weren’t really that many copies – and they definitely weren’t cheap, it makes much more sense.  Look at how we interpret Sacred Scripture.  There are so many stories where one small historical or cultural detail brings worlds of clarity.  Make sure you seek the big picture.

Assumptions get you into trouble.  I won’t repeat the old saying, but in some ways its killing me not to.  Nearly every character in Pride & Prejudice makes assumptions.  Either assuming to know another characters feelings, assuming the accuracy of a story that may be some form of half truth or that they can predict the actions of others.  Assumptions lead to lots of problems.  Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t look ahead, or try to read between the lines, but don’t take it for certain until the proof is there.  These characters assume that they’ve got all the information, when in reality missing pieces make a huge difference.  Think about some times in your life where you made assumptions or had assumptions made about you?  How did they make you feel?

We wouldn’t tease you if we didn’t love you.  Elizabeth is constantly teasing, even when propriety would suggest she should not do so.  We see that her Father has a similar sense of humor. Obviously, not everyone finds this sort of behavior acceptable, especially Lady Catherine, but for Elizabeth, that’s just the way she is.  I have to admit, this is probably the trait I most admire in Elizabeth, but then, I come from a family whose motto is “We wouldn’t tease you if we didn’t love you.”  But, it is something we need to be aware of, both in others and ourselves.  One senior gentleman I deal with regularly teases so close to my insecurities, it took me a long time to realize that he really was kidding.  But after watching him with others, and having a few more exchanges with him myself, I realized that he really was teasing me, that he didn’t mean things the way I was taking them and that he didn’t waste time with those he didn’t care for.  I almost missed getting to know a great guy.  What teasing have you gotten lately?  Was it helpful and relaxed or hurtful?

What is “pride”?  So, we’ve hit on many of the prejudice parts of the movie, but how about pride?  There is a lot of “pride” going around.  Pride in status and breeding, pride in accomplishment, family pride, and pride in self.  We need a certain amount of pride in our lives and not all pride is bad.  But we see the negative side of pride in this flick.  So many of the characters are so full of pride, they don’t seem to see their faults and are very quick to point out the shortcomings of others.  What ways do you think that pride is helpful?  In what ways is it hurtful?

Pride & Prejudice is classic, beautiful and romantic.  It’s got a PG rating and is very clean, apart from a little light kissing at the end.  However, I have a feeling that only artsy teens and adults will enjoy this film.  And hey, if it inspires anyone to read any of Austen’s work, isn’t that a good thing?!

The Descendants

Featured

Posted by in Cinema Catechesis, Drama, movie, Movie Ministry

≈ Comments Off on The Descendants

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Image Courtesty IMDB.com

Image courtesy IMDB.com

The Descendants begins with the revelation that Matt King’s wife, Elizabeth, has been in a boating accident and is in a coma in the hospital.  There’s also a big land sale that has to take place in Matt’s family and Matt is trying to balance both, plus the needs of his two daughters who are definitely having issues.

We then learn that Elizabeth will not come out of the coma and her Living Will declares that they must pull the plug.  After picking up his oldest daughter, Alex, from boarding school, he tells her the news.  Her angry reaction catches him off guard and she reveals that she’d discovered that Elizabeth was having an affair.

So, with all that loveliness, what can we learn from the Descendants?

“Give your children enough money to do something, but not enough to do nothing.”  Matt’s philosophy is sound, but it does seem to have blown up in his face somewhat.  Everyone accusing him of being stingy, but his kids attended very expensive schools, they had a pool and a very nice house, what do they really need beyond that?  But really, shouldn’t that be the philosophy of most parents?  So many parents seem to feel like they have to make sure their kids have more than they had – and in today’s society, that’s a lot of stuff.  Anymore, one device is so many things that you can’t even give in just a little. So I pose this question to parents – how do you give your children enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing?  Do you make deals with your kids?  Do you give, but put lots of limits on the gifts?  Do you give so that you have something to take away (this one was the strategy my parents usually employed)?  Thoughts, please!

“Like an archipelago… all part of the same whole, but still separate and alone, and always drifting slowly apart.” In some ways, this probably describes any group of people.  We can think of it as our families, which is want Matt is referring to, but it can also refer to our Church family, friends, support groups, etc. We start off as a unit, but slowly, over time conflicting interests and schedules take over and individuals sometimes drift apart.  However, unlike an archipelago, we can change that – or at least try to.  We can take the initiative to get back in contact with those who’ve fallen away from our group.  We can only do so much as the others have to do their part as well.  But, we have to take action and not just sit there as our own private island!

“Watch your language” In The Descendants, language is a big issue.  There is a lot of cussing, foul and hateful speech, and a real emphasis on last words spoken.  So yeah, if you’ve got sensitive ears, the language will be quite repulsive.  However, it makes a point for us here.  The first time language is referenced the younger daughter unleashes a hateful sentence toward her sister.  When her Father asks her who taught her to talk like that, she points to her older sister.  We do have to be careful who we are setting examples for!  Most of what’s spoken is spoken in anger and frustration.  Not that it excuses it.  Some might say it’s the teens wanting to prove their adulthood.  I have to say that I’m proud of Matt for calling them out on it.  Matt has also been very careful to make sure that last words are spoken carefully.  When the older daughter unleashes a string of “I’m sorry we weren’t enough” statements toward her comatose mother, Matt makes her stop even though he knows about the affair and probably would like to tear into her himself. Not only is he teaching them to watch themselves, he’s leading them by example. Are you conscious of your last words?  You never know which ones they might be with anyone.  Make them count!

Advanced Life Directives:  This is a touchy subject.  I’m going to tell you that you should have something in place.  But maybe a Living Will isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  It’s too hard to plan for every situation.  There are too many nuances in healthcare, to many degrees of severity and too many types of complicating factors.  Therefore, Living Wills are difficult for those of us who want to try to follow God’s will and not “give up” prematurely, but also don’t wish to be a burden on our families.  A better way to do it would be to name a health care proxy who knows your ultimate wishes, but in the event that you are incapacitated, can help interpret your wishes to the medical professionals treating you.  It may not be in your best interest for this to be a family member, but then again, it might.  It just depends. You just have to try to figure out who can make the hard calls when they’re needed.

When may medical therapies, procedures, equipment and the like be withheld or withdrawn from a patient.  From EWTN.com
A. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states,
2278. Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of “over-zealous” treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.
The key principle in this statement is that one does not will to cause death. When a person has an underlying terminal disease, or their heart, or some other organ, cannot work without mechanical assistance, or a therapy being proposed is dangerous, or has little chance of success, then not using that machine or that therapy results in the person dying from the disease or organ failure they already have. The omission allows nature to takes its course. It does not directly kill the person, even though it may contribute to the person dying earlier than if aggressive treatment had been done.
You can read more about the Catholic Church’s stance on End of Life issues here.

Forgiveness:  Toward the end, the wife of the man Elizabeth had the affair with comes to visit her.  She says she forgives her.  Now, we never know who started it, how long it had been going on, or what was said between Elizabeth and her affair partner.  So, some of what she said, probably was uncalled for.  But, she felt like she had to forgive her.  And in doing so, gave Elizabeth a gift bigger than the flowers she came with.  Can we all be that forgiving when faced with such betrayal?

So, all that said.  The Descendants is overall a good movie.  It’s NOT a sit down with the kids movie, and is rated “R” for a reason.  The language is part. The affair and all that are not depicted.  But there are references to porn and masturbation that round out the rationale for the rating.  Hopefully this post will have you consider two things:  First, being careful with your speech as any words might be the last you have to those you love and second, consider some sort of arrangements should you become incapacitated and pray that you never have to use it!

Blessings!

In Her Shoes

Featured

Posted by in Chick Flick, Drama

≈ Comments Off on In Her Shoes

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Borrowed from IMDB.com

Borrowed from IMDB.com

Maggie Feller: I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear. And whatever is done by only me… is your doing, my darling. I fear no fate… for you are my fate, my sweet. I want no world, for, beautiful… you are my world, my true. Here is the deepest secret no one knows. Here is the root of the root… and the bud of the bud… and the sky of the sky of a tree called life… which grows higher than the soul can hope… or mind can hide. It is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

Okay, so now its time to get in touch with the feminine…  Sorry guys, but this one is a chick flick.  Not to say you can’t get something out of it, but I’m just saying that the ladies in your life will probably identify with this one more than you will.

In Her Shoes is a story of sisters, their differences and the bond they share with their family.  Toni Collette plays Rose, the straight-laced and responsible sister.  Then there’s the flighty, flirtatious and frustrating Maggie, played by Cameron Diaz.  As different as these two sisters are, they need each other.  Their mother died when they were young.  Their father re-married a woman they don’t like and have been sheltered from a grandmother who had just a bit of a tendency to try to tell everyone what to do.  But, the girls are divided when Maggie breaks the oldest of the girl codes, by sleeping with Rose’s boyfriend.  Maggie has managed to burn her last bridge with everyone close to her.  But as luck would have it, in the process of pilfering around for cash, finds out about a Grandmother she thought was dead.  So, she takes off for a retirement home in Florida to sponge of her Grandmother.  In the meantime, Rose quits her job, gets a new boyfriend and tries to act like Maggie didn’t exist.

While in Florida, Maggie bonds with the Grandma she barely remembers and takes a job in the nursing center. There, she befriends a blind man who helps her build confidence in something other than her looks.  Rose does some growing of her own, but all the questions about Maggie’s whereabouts plaque her.  Then, Rose learns that there’s a Grandmother she didn’t know about, and she heads off to Florida and she finds herself face to face with Maggie.  During the visit, the girls start sharing and learn a little family history.  I’ll leave the rest to you to see for yourself.

Okay, so I promised that there was something to learn from this…  grab those Jimmy Choo’s and let’s go!

1.  Family is….  well, complicated.  Okay, so this one is a “no-brainer.”  As much as we need family, we really can hurt the ones we love the most.  Add to that, the fact that sometimes the ones we love need us to step back and let them make mistakes.  It’s hard to know when to hold them close and when to step back and it is such a fine line that it’s almost invisible.  However if we really listen to them, we should be able to find it before it’s gets too much either way.  They say we’re given one mouth and two ears for a reason.  So maybe our loved ones don’t need to hear every way they’re wrong.  I’ve got to get better at this one myself.

2.  There is a bond between sisters.     Between a combination of God’s grace, circumstance and parents who apparently liked each other, I have three sisters.  We are all very different, but each of us shares a different bond with each other.  There are fourteen years difference between the ages of oldest and the youngest.  We’ve set rules between us – we may not have written them down, but over time they’ve been established by years of being together as a family.  The topics we talk about, those we don’t…  and those we just shake our head at.  We see that with Rose and Maggie.  They share everything.  You can tell that when Rose and Maggie are reunited, Maggie is upset that she’s missed out on some major changes in Rose’s life.  And, as much as she wants to, Rose can’t stay angry with Maggie.  What I find fascinating is that Simon picks up on the how Maggie’s absence affects Rose.  As much as he loves her, he can tell that something is wrong…  he can’t seem to put his finger on it, but when he meets up with Rose in Florida, he can tell she’s back to herself.  He could see that Rose was not whole without Maggie.

3.  Perspective makes a difference.  It’s always amazing to me how two people can witness the same events and have completely different conclusions about them.  In the case of Rose and Maggie, the fact that Maggie was very little and was isolated from a lot of the craziness surrounding their early childhood and the death of their mother may have spared her a lot of the seriousness that Rose embodies.  Somehow, Rose always knew that her mother committed suicide but that was a new revelation to Maggie, who had always seen her Mother’s irregular behavior as just being really fun.  She recounts a story of her mother putting a tiara in her lunchbox one day.  The thought it was awesome that she got a tiara, however, she didn’t get lunch. Perspective. 

4.  Find what you love and stick with it.  I’ve said it over and over again, but it bears repeating.  Maggie discovers she has a talent for shopping for the ladies in the retirement village.  She loves to shop, and she manages to put it to use helping ladies these ladies to dress for weddings and other special events without having to fight shopping with their walkers, limited energy and various ailments.  She loves it and is good at it.  At the same time, Rose, quits working as a lawyer.  Simon tells her he thought it was because she loved it.  She admits, however, that it was not that she loved it, but that she was afraid of who she would be without it.  How often do we find ourselves doing something because it’s all we know (and not in a good way)?  It’s risky, and very scary, but something to think about.

5.  Don’t use people.  Help users find their niche.  I know, it’s obvious, but Maggie uses the people in her life until they can’t stand it anymore.  Her Grandmother allows it for a little while, but then manages to find a compromise where Maggie feels like she’s gaining and is able to build up some confidence.  I really don’t think she felt confident enough in herself to do any better before the deal.  Maybe that’s because she was babied her whole life, or maybe she just figured out that it worked and stuck with it.  Either way, it appears that once she really has a direction, the using stops.  One of the best methods of discipline is redirection.  How can we channel negative behaviors into positive ones?

In Her Shoes is rated PG-13 for good reason.  We start off with both Rose and Maggie having intercourse with their respective partners, and there is more as the movie progresses.  But for the most part, that’s over once the big fight erupts.  There’s also some innuendo and senior men gawking at Maggie strutting around in a string bikini and various low-cut or revealing outfits.

Whether you have a sister, or not, I hope you have someone you feel like you can share things with and I pray you won’t ever have to be tested in the manner that the relationship between Rose and Maggie is tested.  God Bless!

The Family Stone

Featured

Posted by in Drama, Romantic Comedy

≈ Comments Off on The Family Stone

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

family_stoneSo, my husband challenged me a while back to try to find something teachable in The Family Stone.  I’m not sure if that was because he didn’t think I’d be able to do anything with it, or what.  However, there are few movies I bother with that don’t have something worth learning in them – even if it’s by making sure to do the complete opposite.  So I accepted the challenge.  Plus, being set during the holidays – maybe it will help anyone who’s a slightly cynical soul looking for a holiday movie that’s not “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “The Grinch that Stole Christmas.”

The Family Stone is the classic, “bring the girlfriend home to meet the parents” movie.  Everything that can go wrong, does – and throw in some dark humor with a dying parent, a switcheroo and you’ve got it.  Dermot Mulroney plays Everett Stone and Sarah Jessica Parker plays his girlfriend Meredith Morton.  Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson are Everett’s parents and Rachel McAdams and Luke Wilson play Everett’s siblings (there’s another brother and sister, too, who are recognizable but not listed among the movie’s star roles).  Meredith is already on edge after a rocky lunch with Everett’s sister Amy (McAdams) as Everett takes her to meet his parents for Christmas.  Meredith is stiff and while she means well, just about everything she does is seen as pretentious and snotty.  So, when Everett asks his mother for the family engagement ring, she refuses.  Not to be stopped, Everett soldiers on and buys a ring to propose to Meredith.  Due to all that has gone wrong, Meredith asks her sister, Julie (played by Claire Danes), to join her so she’s at least got someone on her side.  Add some alcohol and reuniting with some old friends and you have the essence of The Family Stone.

Despite its PG-13 rating, I wouldn’t show this to a young group of teens.  The situations encountered are very adult, plus the sex and drug references might be uncomfortable for many.  Some may also find the incredibly liberal Stone household offensive.  So consider yourself warned if you think that may concern you.  If you decide to give it a try what can you get out of it?

1.  Let your freak flag fly.  In other words, be yourself.  Maybe Meredith really was being herself, but based on what we see later in the movie, her nerves had her putting on airs – and it definitely wasn’t appreciated in the Stone household.  In fact, it’s commented on that she seems so insecure that they don’t think she knows herself.  Then Julie arrives on the scene.  Julie is natural, unassuming, and seems to get along with the Stones just fine; so much so, that she can’t see why Meredith wanted her to come so badly.  Once she loosened up, Meredith showed that she really could be fun.  We also see that Meredith is a thoughtful person when it’s all said and done.

2.  Sometimes there’s more to the story than we realize.  Sybil Stone, Everett’s mother has a reoccurrence of her cancer.  She and Kelly (Nelson) have opted not to tell the family until after Christmas has passed.  Ironically, Ben (Wilson), who you might claim was the oblivious one in the family, is the one who figures it out first.  Sybil’s need to make sure that all of the kids are taken care of before her death comes out as being overbearing and unforgiving, at least as far a Meredith is concerned.  She even makes the comment that it’s not her (Meredith) that’s the problem, it’s just that she and Everett aren’t a good fit and she doesn’t think she’ll be around to help him sort it out.  It does eventually all come out, but it’s not until most of the damage is already done.  We also see that twice Everett is asked if his insistance on proposing to Meredith has to do with Sybil’s condition and everyone seems to doubt that he really loves her anyway.  How often do we rush into something trying to beat some sort of clock?  Maybe it’s the fear of death, maybe it’s sibling rivalry, but we’ve all got to sit back and let a certain divine clock be the only clock we want to keep in time with.

3.  Anger isn’t worth hanging on to.  Amy Stone (McAdams) seems to be so angry and defensive, as does Sybil.  Sybil’s feelings seem justified and Amy’s may be too…  but it doesn’t help anything.  All it managed to do is lay out a minefield even the nicest person would have difficulties navigating.  Believe me, Meredith finds each and every one of them!  Carrying around that anger didn’t make them happier, or even give them any satisfaction.  But, once they put the anger aside, everything goes MUCH smoother.

4. Sometimes we need to put up with people we don’t care for, for the ones we love.  When Everett tells his family off just before taking Meredith to a nearby inn, he tells them just that…  No matter what they think of her, they should be respectful because she is the woman he loves.  The same goes for everyone really.  We should love others because God loves them – and out of love for Him, we love and respect our fellow man.  Simple on the surface, but definitely harder in practice!

5.  There’s a hole in your heart.  Julie tells a story about a guy in Alaska that carved an amazing totem pole, he felt called to do it, saying that he felt like he had a hole in heart something he needed to do to be able to sleep at night.  It’s a minor part of the film, but its sort of the thing that brings her and Everett together.  Earlier in the film we see that when Everett and Meredith met, Everett was trying to get out to a monastary with the largest metal Budda statue.  He feels like he needs to do this – but Meredith seems to think it’s silly.  How often do you feel called to do something?  Do you feel like you have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled, something so important to you that it keeps you awake at night?  Do others “get” what you are trying to do? Why you feel like you need to do it?

I will say that every time I’ve seen The Family Stone, I’ve noticed a different detail of it.  It was one of those movies that I didn’t care for the first time I watched it (most likely due to the over the top liberal Stone family compounded by the fact that I just don’t care for Sarah Jessica Parker), but for some reason, I was still drawn to see it again – and at this point I’ve watched it many times…  The romantic in me likes it that we see how the re-arrangement of the couples and finding someone for all the singles makes for a much more pleasant dynamic.  Maybe there’s something to be said for how those around us affect our behavior.  Or maybe it’s just that everything worked out the way it was supposed to, regardless of the arguing, bantor and sheer bull-headedness!

For more information check out:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356680/