Tag Archives: reconciliation

Keeping Up With the Steins

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We try everything we can do to help students know what Confirmation really means, right?! Well, Keeping Up with the Steins is about the journey of Benjamin Fiedler, who is preparing for his Bar-Mitzvah. Throw in a long-lost Grandpa and the strained relationship with he family he left, and you’ve got a funny yet touching flick that really gets a look at how secular some of our most sacred traditions have become.

The father, Adam Fiedler (played by Jeremy Piven) constantly downplays the importance of the Bar-Mitzvah, all consumed in planning the ultimate party and out doing his business competition. Young Ben invites his long lost grandfather, Irwin Fiedler (played by Garry Marshall), who in addition to being known and disliked for the way he left his family, is leading lifestyle much different than that of the family he left with his MUCH younger girlfriend (played by Daryl Hannah), and Adam’s focus switches to how to get through the Bar Mitzvah without being totally embarrassed by Irwin. In any case, the real significance of the event is lost on Adam and Ben is left trying to find the meaning in this rite of passage.

So Benjamin is trying to figure out what it all means and asks questions of all those around him, well, except the Rabbi because he seems intent to spend as little time in the Hebrew classes as possible. If it wasn’t for Irwin, poor Benjamin would remain to wallow in doubt and confusion. Irwin takes the time to work with Benjamin, talk to the Rabbi, and interact with others in a way that Benjamin not only studies the Haf Torah, he really starts to understand and believe in it.

Since Bar Mitzvah’s occur during approximately the same time we confer the Sacrament of Confirmation, and our Candidates for the sacrament are having to take ownership of their faith, much like our Jewish brethren. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist see the correlation. So, I encourage everyone to go back to the time of your Confirmation, what questions did you have? Who helped you deal with them? How was it viewed in your family (rite of passage, gracious gift from God, boring thing they had to sit through a two-hour mass for)?

If you’re reading this and you’re not of a faith that believe in Confirmation or the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, think about why you do what you do in terms of faith & spirituality. Do you do it because it is expected, or because you really believe? Have you ever gotten wrapped up in the comercialization of a Religious event or holiday?

The other thing this movie brings to the table is the reconciliation between Adam and Irwin. Adam has a very hard time forgiving Irwin, even though Adam’s mother (played by Doris Roberts) forgave him long ago and still loves him. It takes Ben having a bit of a meltdown to get them to really talk and start to see what happened. Who do we need to reconcile with in our lives? Maybe it’s a parent, maybe a sibling or a child… but when we look at the situation(s) from their point of view would we understand their actions a little better, even if we still don’t approve or the result?

I’m also impressed at how Benjamin handles his struggle. Many kids would have given up… or just have gone along with it for the party and / or gifts. However, Benjamin truly wants to know what he’s doing and feel comforatable with it. There’s certainly honor in that – even if he does make a mis-step or two in the process.

Now, as much as I recommend this movie – especially if you need a little help diving into this type of conversation with a young candidate, I must warn you, it’s PG-13 for some brief rear nudity and alcohol use, so you’ll need to preview it before you show it to anyone at Bar-Mitzvah age. =] Enjoy!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0415949/trailers-screenplay-vi736035097

Brokedown Palace

03 Saturday Nov 2012

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One of my perennial favs in terms of Movie Ministry or Cinema Catechesis is the 1999 flick Brokedown Palace.  It seems that not a lot of people have heard of this film that stars Claire Danes, Kate Beckinsale and Bill Pullman, with even a few appearances by Lou Diamond Phillips.  I promise, it’s worth taking a look at – and there’s enough suspense, that it’s not to “chick flicky” for most guys.

It starts off simple enough, two girls graduate high school and head out for their senior trip. Darlene (Beckinsale) is “the good one” and the other, Alice (Danes) of course, “the bad one.” This movie is about trust & true friendship.  First, the two girls, supposedly headed to Hawaii for their senior trip, decide to switch gears and head off to Thailand, in search of the exotic and thrilling.  But, the girls learn that nothing is as it seems.

Which girl was guilty – even if unknowingly so? Many make assumptions of who is actually to blame. Was it the bad one? Was it the naive one? Or, was it neither of them, but the work of some con artist?  Is their lawyer (Pullman) a help or a hurt?

We work and work to try to figure that out, but does it matter – especially when both girls are paying the price? You never know quite who to trust in the movie. Sometimes you think all the characters are playing each other. But, ultimately it doesn’t matter. There is no such thing as “reasonable doubt” in Thailand, and the time will be done, regardless.

So, what would you do if you and your best friend were in prison together? What would you do if you thought it was your friend’s fault you were there? What if you’d been the one tricked? Would you still care?

So now that we’ve been made to think about the “what ifs”, what lessons do we learn here?

1.  Don’t lie!  The girls lied about where they were going, making it harder to get help once they realized they were in trouble.  They snuck into a hotel and lied about being guests there – which got them caught, and put in contact with a guy we later learn is a drug trafficker, despite his incredibly charming appearance who obviously lies to them.

2.  Be on guard.  It may sound silly – but at so many turns the girls might have avoided some of the punishment they got.  But, they think they know it all, are so busy looking for aventure, that they are careless.

3.  Know who your friends really are.  Those that are charming may look polished and talk smoothly, but are they going to be there for you when you need it?  Who are the most important people in your life?  Are they good influences or bad?  Don’t get me wrong, as this movie portrays, there isn’t always a clear line here.  Sometimes we need someone who’s a little wild in our lives – sometimes we’re the wild ones.  How do those closest to us help us grow, or hold us back?

4.  One thing I applaud the girls on, most especially our bad girl Alice, is in looking out for a friend.  Darlene may be “the good one” but she appears to be quite naive and barely able to watch out for herself in this strange place.  The two girls have a spat over a boy, but still it appears that Alice is more concerned about her friend than anything.  Alice is the strong one and is constantly trying to help Darlene deal with the mess they’re in; they are picked on by guards and prisoners, Darlene’s father shows up and reiterates to Alice what a horrible person he thinks she is and how he blames her for this situation his daughter is in and Darlene gets very ill.  Even at a point when Darlene isn’t speaking to Alice, Alice stays with her and shows she’s willing to offer the biggest sacrifice.

What parallels can you make to scripture with this one – self-sacrifice, for sure.  It’s hard to really discuss this aspect without ruining the ending for you.  Which I really don’t want to do.  You may already be able to guess what happens by what I’ve said and not said here. But, it’s a good movie, suspenseful, with a great message, not just about trust, but also friendship.

For more information check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120620/

The Ramen Girl

21 Sunday Oct 2012

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Sometime last week, my husband and I decided to try out an old Brittany Murphy flick The Ramen Girl. On the surface, it’s about a girl, Abby, who follows her boyfriend to Japan – who then leaves her there.

Hurt and confused, Abby stumbles into the Ramen shop across the street. The owners, Maezumi and his wife, think she is homeless or crazy so they feed her in the hopes that she’ll go away. But, somehow, the Ramen fills more than her belly, as she finds consolation in it. She goes back the next day, and the Ramen makes even the saddest patrons laugh. So she decides that she wants to learn the art of Ramen so that she can bring that joy to others.

When I first sat down to write this post, I had no idea that I could pull much out of it. It seems like a pretty straight-forward “fish out of water” type story. However, as I started writing, I was amazed at how deep it really could be. Imagine that the Ramen Shop owner, Maezumi, is Jesus and Abby becomes a disciple, so to speak. So, in looking at this film through the lens of Catechesis, what can we learn?

1. We are called to “pick up our cross and follow Jesus.” No one ever said it would be easy, or that at points we wouldn’t feel alone. So, while what got Abby to Japan might have been less than honorable, she passes up the easy road and it’s the challenges she faces that make her stronger in the process. You might even take the leap that the boyfriend was like a shady John the Baptist – and leads Abby to Jesus, although indirectly. So, Abby follows her boyfriend, but becomes a disciple on a journey that takes her much farther than the relationship with the boyfriend would have ever been. And I think we can all agree that the boyfriend isn’t fit to untie Maezumi’s sandals!

2. When she sets her mind to learn Ramen, Maezumi gives Abby a LONG list of chores. From washing dishes to scrubbing toilets, cleaning tables and washing windows, she learns the value of work, although she isn’t quiet about her distaste for it. For Maezumi, it’s the basics. It’s those things that don’t seem to be related to the end goal, but are actually foundational building blocks. You can have the best food in the whole world, but if the surrounds are dingy, its unlikely people will give it the time of day. So maybe it’s those prayers or scripture passages we don’t want to memorize, maybe it’s basic teachings we don’t think we agree with, but they are all part of the big picture. They all are ingredients in our Ramen.

3. There is a huge language barrier between Abby and Maezumi. With the help of a dictionary and the occasional interpreter they muddle through, but it is hard, frustrating, and the series of exchanges, though heated, can be quite funny. There’s a lesson here though. You can take it at face value: a stranger in a strange land. However the thing that really pops to mind is that frustration and difficulty we sometimes feel talking to God. We find ourselves on one side spewing out what we think we need and what we expect from Him, all the while feeling that He doesn’t really understand us and often wondering if he’s even listening. Then on the other hand, how often is He trying to talk to us, but we’re too busy trying to get our point across to listen to Him? So check out those exchanges… how do they get resolved or do they?

4. We also learn that all the choice ingredients mean nothing if there’s there’s not a piece of ourselves in it. Maezumi can’t put his finger on what is missing from Abby’s ramen, so he takes her to his mother. Now, this is a deviation from our analogy of Maezumi as Jesus, because we don’t ever see Jesus asking Mary for advice, but he does entrust us to her. “Son, behold your mother. Mother behold your son.“ Yet even that is stretching it for this one, so rather than try to rationalize any further, we’ll get to the point of the exchange: We can talk the talk, but if our hearts aren’t in it, what are we doing it for? We must believe it and put ourselves out there. Because ultimately, aren’t we all looking for the Grand Master’s blessing?!

5. Another point is you can make with this movie is the reconciliation Abby brings about for Maezumi. You see, Maezumi raised his son teaching the art of ramen. However, his son rejects it, despite his great gifts, to be an ITALIAN chef! Maezumi has such a difficult time with this decision. And, in a very un-Jesus-like fashion, Maezumi turns his back and holds in the hurt. In an effort not to ruin it, although it is a minor part of the movie, I’ll hold back the hows and whys here. But hopefully it inspires us to reach out a loving hand to someone we need to reconcile with.

6. **Spoiler Alert!!!** The last point for me is that once Abby has mastered the art of Ramen, she doesn’t stay in Japan. She moves back home, but takes this gift and shares it with others back home in New York. It appears that her place is booming and business is good. Therefore, our lesson is that called to share our gifts with the world, spread the good news of Jesus. I sort of wish I got to see more of how she continues on, but, that is left to our imagination.

Be forewarned, this film does have some scenes depicting alcohol use and Abby does have a brief romance including a bedroom scene. But, if memory serves, it does deserve the PG-13 rating, but isn’t embarrassing enough to worry about showing in a group setting assuming they’re all at least 13.

God Bless!

For more information on the movie, check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0806165/